Category: Words in Sentences

This is a default category :)

Words in Sentences

“The Most Excellent Way” @ Monday Devotion time in my study

by ErinLeave a Comment on “The Most Excellent Way” @ Monday Devotion time in my study

One of the best most helpful things a spiritual coach told me in all of this life upheaval is that as a woman designed in Gods image, when I create – I must remember I am reflecting an aspect of the divine. To therefore treat the time as worship and be humble in my pursuits, gentle to receive direction and open minded in what creative project the Lord may be asking of me that may or may not align with my own plans.

After returning home from high school drop offs, I made a quick brain dump of what I would like to do to, what I need to do, etc.

There is cohesion in my various threads of thought – so that is hopeful. There is also a serious need to sit and do the things relative to each thread of thought and this consistency to sit is the common denominator. So get this –

Today, instead of thinking “I only have two hours to get all this work done”, I thought to myself “I only have a 2 hour work day – isn’t that lucky?”

I showered and got dressed and made the man a plate of fruit and peanut butter. I considered the track from our room to my study “my commute” and didn’t make the bed… bc there might be traffic. And I wanted to be in the office on time.

“Oh so now she starts caring”, all former bosses and coworkers who read this blog collectively groan. Again… time and attendance, not my speciality.

I’m in my devotional / reflective time and in lighting incense and sitting with my mind space, I got the word “love” on which to ponder and ground myself for the day.

Naturally, I went to 1 Corinthians 13 (a classic) but found myself smiling at the unexpected refreshing-ness of the lead in to 13, “…and now I will show you the most excellent way”.

The way of love. A way that only is when you are actively spirit led. However that is for you and your intuitive self and body – however that is for your conscious breath and attendance to yourself.

The way of love is the most excellent way. Just love the simplicity for today.

Now to work, I don’t want to catch myself on my phone.

PS David brought me home a strip of white board on Saturday 😍
Words in Sentences

Thé Art of Fluid Living

by ErinLeave a Comment on Thé Art of Fluid Living

(And why not to ever set your iPhone to French as it will never stop auto correcting your English…)

I am staring at the remaining 45 minutes of a spring cleaning task I am glad I am doing today.

David and I just had a Saturday lunch date and this is our « kid free » weekend. I put kid free in quotes bc, when you’re a parent, you’re never really kid free. For example: I’m organizing their snack boxes, planning their lunches in the back of my mind and figuring out just how much detail I’m going to give them regarding the kitchen and organizational changes I am making relative to their needs and daily uses.

Kara, if you read this, the smoothie maker is now in the cabinet next to the plates. Beaucoup plus facile!

I have made and taken a couple calls about my self hatred comments. Oi. I am actively processing out of it and smiling at how this process really is my process. The more I call out and discuss what’s going on in my head, the faster I get on to the next.

« Nirvana in no time » should be the title of my memoir. Wink wink as the irony is in the fact it’s a life long, ongoing process.

I talked to one of my favorite encouragers last night, Dana. I remembered how my mental dismantling of corporate America is literally the time waster opposite to my book.

(Which I started chapter two of this morning….)

Ok he is active and building a shelf actually he is hugging me and just gave me a kiss #newlyweds but nonetheless all signs I should get things done.

And stop overthinking how it all fits together… stop planning the order of events… and rather I shall start fitting it all together and write it as it happens.

The art of fluid living.

Live from our kitchen is our latest hit song “I lost my beer”
Words in Sentences

Little Update @ The Usual. Need Travel.

by ErinLeave a Comment on Little Update @ The Usual. Need Travel.

Sup, fam.

In my last post, I wrote about my desire to start an anonymous blog. I did and then shared it with a bunch of people I know so it is actually a semi anonymous blog but easier there to process out some words for things that feel a little too “sticky and gross” here.

For example, I wrote about self hatred yesterday. I really don’t hate myself but there is a little nasty inner voice that says I do and I want to write it out. Doing so here usually involves a little censoring of myself because my mom might get worried. And she is sweet and I don’t want her to worry.

That being said, though retired life is good and things are working, there is some mental work needed to get some of that stupid stupid stupid shit out of my brain from bad bosses, weird feedback and messed up work dynamics.

I honestly think I kind of got messed with in the head a little bit over the course of my time working.

I recognize it in little blips that come up in my inner dialogue: how HARD I am on myself, my CONSTANT need to exceed expectations and raise the bar higher and higher and higher (and higher) and an EXTREME need to multi-task.

Do you know the other day I had to TRY to eat a sandwich without simultaneously cleaning it up? It was SO difficult that was for me! Especially when the WHOLE time I was eating, I was thinking about putting in my earpiece and making a dentist appointment for my kid.

I think there is something valuable for others here. I do not think working through this BS is just for me and my desire to get all of the saran wrap all the way off my brain.

I have daydreamed about writing a book on “The Director’s Role” or one on explaining how managing people is like building a house. I have taken calls from friends who are still in the grind and felt so compelled to record our conversation; where I am reminding them that the value they are putting on the perspective of their egotistical leadership is value they can reassess, not worry about and reinstate in their own strengths.

I get fired up and gung-ho about it then remember I don’t have to do anything. So I read a little, I make another cup of coffee and I go hug my husband while he is on a conference call or coding or sometimes I find him break dancing… so that’s special.

I have been resisting nose to the grindstone on everything and substituted having goals for practicing making biscuit dough without a recipe. Even that is a testament to how much I don’t want to do anything how somebody might suggest I do it. I am in my great unwinding. (AND MAN AM I GLAD I AM NOT DOING THIS AT SIXTY.) I honestly can’t imagine how much more engrained these work habits would be by then.

As for writing and yoga… My goal is to have my children’s rhymes and poetry out by Christmas. And God love it if Chicken Soup for the <something> soul doesn’t take one of my submissions. (I mean – COME ON. I don’t swear in them!)

Yoga has been kind of a weird place for me because of my tendency to rage against any kind of machine. I have a manager at the studio who gives me feedback on my ideas and I just think “oh not this again”. lol. So I am considering how to take some time off of yoga teaching to study my specific interests and reignite why I am doing it, what I want to offer and how I want to offer it so I can do it on my own.

I just really do not think I am supposed to have a boss.

With the warmer weather, I am meeting up for some walks with old coworkers and friends. It feels really good to have some time for people again and I am hopeful I can get back into a bit of a correspondence habit. Sending people letters in the mail feels really joyful.

I bought stamps and all, but I have never been lazy before so this is really fun. Did I ever tell you in college there were two years I had 5 W-2s? Yeah I got fired from jobs (time and attendance… never my specialty…) but I also just worked like crazy….

As for an update, that’s all I got. Text me call me email me to say what’s up. If you want the semi anonymous blog (it’s on medium.com) let me know. It’s a little raw and unfiltered in terms of what I am expressing and processing. Kind of experimental and I make no apologies. :)

Have a great weekend. erin

PS: I miss the smell of my suitcase.