creative life – Page 4 – Frozen Spaghetti

The Work of Not Working

March 4, 2022by ErinLeave a Comment

This week has been really busy for me.

I researched dog kennels for hours, contemplated what I was looking for in a dog kennel for hours, mulled through my options, made appointments with sales reps, talked with those sales reps and then bought two dog kennels. Analyst skills: check.

With the super nice weather this week in Saint Louis, I have been meeting my goal of walking three miles (with pups) each day.

Dog training skills: check.

Lent started up as mentioned in my post from Wednesday, so there has been a renewal of spiritual practice which has opened my mind to understand why some of my creative projects were stalled out… they needed a foundational practice.

This feels like an accomplishment similar to identifying the dog kennels. Analyst / Product Development skills: check.

PS – dog kennels are confusing and expensive. I ended up going with a specific brand, saving about a thousand dollars compared to the others.

A THOUSAND DOLLARS.

Accounting Department skills: check. (Oh, I also completed our family’s February budget review… add Excel skills: check)

All of our kids are at the other parents’ this week so we have had a bit of a honeymoon week. I rose to the challenge of using up everything in our fridge and freezer and stumbled upon the creation of a carrot bisque recipe. Netflix cooking challenge champion skills: check.

It was about 4 in the afternoon, I had roasted carrots and aromatics sweating in the pot. The sun was SO pretty and I had the window open.

I didn’t cook with music as the silence in the house was golden (see aforementioned note about kids not being here). After a taste test of the roasted carrot soup left me with a sliver of rosemary on my tongue, I thought: this should be smooth. This should be a bisque.

Without multi tasking on a conference call, without thinking about how much time I had, without any tie to any thing, I pulled out a sieve and started the slow process of one ladle of soup at a time… pushing through the sieve… watching with satisfaction (again, satisfaction akin to the not spending $1,500 on dog crates) as the soup pooled up in the receiving bowl.

So simple. So creative. So strategic.

I have thought a lot this week about life as a creative and desiring progress and accomplishment to be redefined in my mind.

I notice when friends or fellow writers call me to rattle their projects around. I notice when friends reach out for perspective or just to chat.

I proofread a friend’s work, for pete’s sake. I am working all the time. Professional friend and pro bono life analyst.

The work of not working occurs when I see what I am doing or how I am doing something because I am “not working” and consider whether or not what I am enjoying doing or how I am enjoying doing it should somehow be what I do for work. Following?

Having been a part of 2020’s “Great Resignation” as I “retired from corporate life” has given me a freedom that seems to be wide open space for thoughts of “what do I do with this thing I like doing” or some kind of jolt to ascribe value or extend offering to even the simplest joys. I was a half step away from ordering jar labels and whipping up another batch of carrot bisque for my family members in town.

I am starting to want this time back, if that makes sense. I want that thinking to subside and I want to emerge different. In too many ways, that thinking is similar to how I saw everything I did at Enterprise. How do I get the right people to notice the skill and hire it, promote it, pay it.

What does it look like to just exist without wondering what something is or should be?

What does it feel like to simple operate without marketing?

Part of my Lenten practice has been to resurrect (pun slightly intended) my study of Yoga Sutra. It is not lost on me that the first couple of days on chapter one (the portion of contemplation) have brought the strong reminder of impressions of the mind as distractions.

I dog eared pages from my practice last night to investigate further today… to journal or reflect or whatever I am going to do to understand a bit more about why they got the precious dog ear fold. I know – for the most part – they got the fold because they were helping me remember that all of this work thinking, the pattern of needing to work, is likely the obstacle to the unfolding of the next chapter of my creative life.

Fascinating. Anybody else out there not working and thinking all the time about work? Is this an American thing???

For those that know me … I think this is the next layer of saran wrap to remove.

Ok… now on to it… erin

Words in Sentences

Testing, Testing, 1 – 2 – 3

October 28, 2021by ErinLeave a Comment

For starters, let me just say that I know people who get this and this particular Frozen Spaghetti pod is very special to my heart and so I thank you, very much, for the encouragement you show to my writing, my way of thinking and – in general – encouraging me to exist in my exact possible way.

I am in the final countdown to putting the email to my contacts out into the world. My goal is to send it to 100 people directly. Every time I add a person to the list, banking on them remembering they said I could add them, I question myself in just a little way.

It’s never full on doubt. Or lack of confidence or love of Words that Rhyme and Lullabies. It’s not really the whole “am I ready” for this thing, because – “what is this anyway” and / also, I was born ready.

But what it is is something unique to the experience of sharing with both hope and aspiration, with both “this is for me and my spirit” while believing in the way it connects with others.

What will this mean? What will my experience of numbers be? How can I communicate upfront about what exactly when there are still so many unknowns even about the coming months.

And – there you have it – I just need to know a little bit more. It’s time for the old give and take.

So I will be sending this email, coming soon to an inbox near you, that will introduce you to my first official creative work, pave the ways for the ways I am going to share it in its full color and dimension: audio, storytelling, baby holding, prayer.

I had a pulse of “nobody will want the last one” with a response of “or maybe everybody will”.

These three volumes of Words that Rhyme of Lullabies span the human experience as I know it thus far: infant hood, wonder, love and connection. Curiosity, identity and (yes) a little bit of trouble in volume 2, out Christmas 2022. Lastly, the final stages of life… the heart, grief and infatuation.

My first book is going to be sent to the printer next week and I will be better for it… having arrived in some way.

For now, just know I’m a little nervous. And I am thankful for this blog, Frozen Spaghetti – the name of my 8th grade autobiography – and the way it works as my shoebox on the internet; available to store ideas, feelings and – in general – whisper into.

If you are not yet on my mailing list or not sure if you are, go ahead and give me your details here. And forgive my lack of branding. I am under major construction. :)

Words in Sentences

Sun Kissed and Accomplished (AKA LCCC Part 3) @ The Part of the Couch I Never Sit On – Bellingham

August 9, 2020August 9, 2020by ErinLeave a Comment

The chowder was a success. I am happy to say, it was 6 hours of love and attention well worth it. “Out of this world, delicious” was what David just offered as a way to describe the chowder.

Thinking back to the earliest parts of the base, I put two drops of liquid smoke in with the olive oil and butter. I think that had something to do with it. The curry sweetness balanced with the most delicate half a minced jalapeno and fresh thyme. I used this pretentious half and half toward the end. After the potatoes and base got along just fine, I brought it all to boil and simmered for a solid twenty before letting it sit back down so I could stir in the cream.

We ate it with lemony oven friend pork chops. Nothing special there but they were *good*. I have been craving pork chops for awhile – and I think it is the lemony crunch that happens when you cook them up just right that I was really hoping for…

We digested a bit and then went over to the park. I sat and worked on some fiction writing while David walked with two of our girls around “the duck pond”. Kara, our 11 year old, came and found me and I ran ideas by her – we got excited about creepy shop keepers and lost keys and alternate realities – I wrote a little more, called our 12 year old Lucy and low and behold we landed on the name of the main character. A working way to refer to her, at least.

It’s almost 7:30pm and I have done nothing but cook and write and support our family with selling things on Facebook all day. It feels good. I am so glad for this day – that it was so beautiful and real jobs didn’t take our focus. I am grateful for time to write and for David playing the guitar while the sun starts to get low behind him.

I am grateful for the chowder and for lemons and for local cream sold in thick glass bottles. I am grateful for expensive pork chops cut from pigs who learned how to watercolor first and for the experimental self discovery that occurs when you cook and create. There is really simply nothing like it.

Maybe music and writing are similar, actually. The common denominator for me in all three is how excited I get to share. :)