It all catches up with you: moments, memories, meaning.
We decided to delay our departure a day to give a nice 24 hour buffer, prevent stress and maximize efficiencies and time along favorite coordinates.
I got a chance to properly pack the rental van, pack lunches, pack coolers, make a cat hut / cat fort and as the house emptied, I would have these moments where my eyes swallowed the bare floors or the sunset and see them in both the first way and the now way.
I remember my first visit up here and being confused; not only by the obvious task of looking for things in a new kitchen but also in wondering why he had so many things of baking powder.
Now, the kitchen is organized by my handiwork and, although David still tends to have multiples of things, that no longer confuses me. I know how he operates and how, for him – it’s easier just to buy it and have it than to make a list and take inventory before leaving the house.
(Multiply that by the fact Kara (11 year old step daughter) bakes and he grocery shops as a sport; you get a lot of cinnamon, vanilla extract and baking powder.)
There is a picture of him that I took putting our to go coffees together before my early morning flight out after that first visit up here. It’s my favorite – I remember thinking “he is so handsome” and “I like his style” and “I’m proud of him”.
It’s hard for me at times to see him leaving Washington. He loves it up here, he just moved up here two years ago, and I know if we could root here we would grow something we both are so intrigued by.
That being said, I really truly know that we are still actively rooting – regardless of city. And I really truly know what we grow is very intriguing. Lastly, I believe leaving here does not negate the very cool, very whole hearted thing he did moving up here two years ago.
David continually shows his kids, me and now my daughters a generosity and a willingness that births adventure. I think he shows a boat load of patience, creativity and ethic that fruit a home.
He “gives” more than he “sacrifices” and I found myself moving through the house I know now like the back of my hand feeling this “wow he really loves me” feeling.
I think, when you’re going through major change, and you’re really present and feeling it – you don’t always realize the summation of what is occurring.
Baselines tend not to be minute by minute play by plays. But they *do* happen and all the sudden you’re in your boyfriend’s kitchen as his wife, you’re packing his family as your own and you know the trust between you is green and ambient and maybe even a little psychotic in its love.