The More I Sit Here @ Deck Again on a Good Hair Day – Bellingham

The only thing about the house here in Washington that is like a thing is that we are up high and can look over and down onto our neighbor’s backyard.

Gordina – a house back and over – has a lovely garden with an enviable rosemary bush raised up in the pnw sun and veggies all year round under tinted weathered prayer flags. She doesn’t live right behind us though.

A young family does.

I look over and see chairs in random spots, that their gymnasium was moved, toy miniature everything galore and actually I think like 3 slides. On nice nights when we are all living that pacific northwest life, eating outdoors or with windows open, we are within ear and eye shot of each other.

I write out here. Sit out here. Close my eyes out here. Work out here. And I have noticed lately that their baby is probably teething. Or growing. Lots of baby cries.

But the more I sit here, I am also noticing how extremely patient the mom is. Sigh.

Deep breath and smile.

I think she must be a really good mom.

She must be – I can tell by the lack of anxiety in the air that she doesn’t let the fact her neighbors can hear her child carrying on put pressure on her to “fix the child”. I think she knows deep down she simply has a baby and they – simply- are crying.

Unlike most mothers I know who hush their babies to the self detriment of their own sanity, I am pretty sure this mom is like cool with reality and knows she is not annoying me.

Additionally, I have been out on the deck a lot lately. August in Washington is like perfect satin jambinos after a salt bath soak and a face massage; so relaxing and happy stupor inducing. The more I have been here, the more I notice when they are not in their yard.

I wonder sometimes if it is nap time. Or if she is cooking.

I wonder if they went for an outing and I picture them at the bay or on a hike or at the market.

Maybe they went to Target and, if that is the case, I send prayers and helpers.

One of my favorite things about being a spiritual mom is remembering I can send helpers. A woman I studied with a couple of years ago in yoga teacher training told me I was a white witch. I thought nothing of it but then when I close my eyes and bring a person to the center of my mind (like my friend right now who is waiting to give birth) and send supreme love and guidance and comfort and help and support and strangers to offer pieces of gum or cashiers to smile in just that way – I think maybe I am magical.

Wouldn’t mind it :)

Sighhhhhh… the rental lady just left here and the papers are signed to list the house to rent. David looks handsome and is probably getting ready for me to fix dinner. I am super excited about progress on perfecting pizza dough. So we are doing greek pizza tonight. But with goat cheese and not feta. Yum. Can’t wait.

The breeze is so nice, I just want to stay in this cradle of an afternoon sun forever.

But. Kalamata olives are calling my name.

One more glance back and over the fence. Smiling. Hope she is doing good with her little ones… wherever that mama is…

Becoming a Stepmom @ the middle of sorting bins Webster 7.18

Been writing and processing the words “my husband” more than “being a wife” in recent weeks.

Reason for that is actually super clear to me. I became a wife before I met David. In the 7 years I was divorced or maybe 8, I became a woman who trusted herself, who learned to listen, who gave space to others, who took care of herself.

In those things, I became ready to be somebody’s wife. Those journals are where I learned that. Now I can marvel at the tide of him being husband… not boyfriend, not fiancé… husband. It’s fascinating.

But as the headband went on this morning and the sleeves rolled up, I found myself excited and motivated to get the house ready for the kids. Not the girls. The kids. Not Ellen and Lucy. Ellen Aria Lucy Kara and Maddox. 15, 14, 12, 11, 7.

I get to have a 7 year old again :)

I have gotten the house ready for the girls plenty of times. Week on / week off always afforded me a little Sunday practice of tidying and setting.

But this? This new ball game of getting the house ready for the kids has me daydreaming about decorating for Christmas with Kara, setting up Aria for supreme comfort and making the perfect balance of boy / man space for Maddox’s Star Wars toys and legos.

I’m setting aside the cookie and pancake stuff. Remembering the middle girls new love of “no bake chocolate cakes” and thinking of how to make their ingredients set up for them.. not just for the novelty and joy they would get from their own basket, but to prevent the surprise of all the sudden being out of vanilla when I go to use it.

It’s fun. David is down piddling in the shed and the yard. I’m about to put tunes back on and continue my evolution into stepmom, mom, mom of 5, “Erin”.

Christmas will be fun this year!
Current Sitch. :-/

Sitting On the Deck @ Bellingham On the Deck 7.5.20

My thoughts today are filled with things like needing dinner plates at our house in Webster, how I can get rid of the hutch in the dining room now that I have this little laptop, cleaning the basement and getting it ready for either the drum kit or maybe work space, definitely lounge space.

Thinking about the house up here in Washington and how I am starting to know exactly how I want to redo the kitchen. How to open up this little corner that gets so cramped, how to make the space feel as big as it is, how to set it up to serve 7+ mouthfuls buffet style.

Thinking about registering Ford blood kids for school in the fall, what to plan my schedule to be like to give some 1:1 regularly to all five- see what they are learning, manage distance learning, see how they are. Which leads me to thinking about the people in St. Louis I need to call on for help, to pick up teens for coffee or have some sort of play date with our 7 year old and theirs.

I know a lot of people with 6 – 8 year olds… that feels lucky for Maddox.

I am thinking about bigger plans for both houses. Patios and my ideal laundry set up. Which prompts me to go downstairs and switch out a load of laundry. While I’m at it, I throw some comet on the shower floor to come back and scrub up in a bit.

David is in the kitchen doing the dishes from yesterday. We grilled pizzas and some ribs… some corn, too… Ah, <smiling> he is making sausage and grits too at the moment. I’m on the deck in the sunshine. Reminding myself that all of this happens one step at a time and feeling really proud of myself for sitting still.

I am thinking about this idea my sister sent me to put a “registry of things” together that is all encompassing: acts of service, things we need, etc. That might be helpful, just to even have to keep track of ourselves… Plus don’t you get a discount when you buy off your own registry?

(“Interesting”… I can hear David saying when he hears that… )

The pace here is nice and easy. Was supposed to be heading to Sacramento this evening but due to Covid, we are punting that visit to cousins for a later, more safer point in time. Plus, we got married on Friday so it feels right to not split up and – even better – we booked us both coming to STL to get Ellen and Lucy home to their dad for a bit.

David and I took the kayaks out this morning and I am actually pretty grateful today isn’t a leaving day.

David just came out to sit with me, he brought me a bowl of eggs, grits and sausage and some warmed up coffee. Going to talk with him now and see about our plans for the day. It’s absolutely gorgeous out and we are thinking about hitting up this local farm and taking the kids to hike a cove that gives you a view out into the bay, over to Canada and hopefully of some mountains since it is clear out.

That’s all for now :)