Tag: IFS

faith

The Interesting Part About Faith

by ErinLeave a Comment on The Interesting Part About Faith

Over the past couple weeks of venturing into this new agreement with OM Old Orchard, the new boutique yoga studio in Webster Groves, I have found myself learning about a knee jerk reaction that exists in me.

This knee jerk reaction wants to share context, explain a little bit, walk you through why it makes sense – why it works for you, what is in it for others, introduce you to the inspiration behind it, share. Share. Share.

This knee jerk reaction comes up in response to fear. Fear related to whether or not the investment of time and money will work. I think THIS is why I am noticing the reaction and rising above it, actually.

Because my investment of time and money is rooted in love, I actually have zero doubt this “will work”. Will it be exactly what I envision? Probably not, but that is why I am practicing visioning for the day. Keep the baseline close, learn in real time, iterate accordingly.

Most of my friends, family and students / yoga community know that the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control) are my guidepost for emotional navigation, interactions, meditations, etc. Even my book, Words that Rhyme and Lullabies, has a fruit of the Spirit that controlled each page. (I should share about that sometime….)

In my study of the Fruits of the Spirit through straight up referencing them in scripture, I will come across 1 Corinthians 13:13: “Abide in faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love”. That has been a bit of a study crux for me for awhile, because hope isn’t a Fruit of the Spirit. And faithfulness is, but Faith isn’t. Love is referenced in both.

My dad taught me the Spirit is active the moment you believe the Spirit is active. You always have the love you need, the peace you need, the patience you need – the moment you assume it. Love is warmth, connection, inclusion, trust.

When you learn what the soft animal of your body loves (RIP Mary Oliver), you do so because of the way what you love feels.

You feel connected, attracted, you include, you trust.

And this has to be why the greatest of Faith, Hope and Love is Love. Stick with me here…

Because if you are spending time energetically in your body and with the way your life feels in your body, then you are learning what you love, what love is, how love feels. When you have this imprint, you are now oriented. Energetically speaking, what you love guides your every action.

Is the love that orients you God’s love? Is it also safe for others? Is it also warm to others? Can others abide in it and thrive in the same love that orients you? Does everybody have a seat at your table of love? If so, your love is God’s love pouring out.

And when you’re acting and interacting from God’s love, you can have hope. Hope that the plans you commit to are not just the plans of your mind, but plans designed through co-creation with Siva (form) and Shakti (the formation) – Spirit energy – Truth of all Truth Energy. The success of your plans *big or small* can have hope like an anchor as they are inherently committed to divine will because they come from love. (Proverbs 16:3)

And we know “hope does not disappoint” because because BECAUSE “the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5) FULL CIRCLE!

The Holy Spirit is the God in you. You are divine. Ong namo guru dev namo. (I honor the divine wisdom that exists, that exists in me)

Living true to your divine design, you act and interact from the place of love NOT just what comes out of you but what you give generously to yourself because you cannot believe that you are divine and truly embrace the Holy Spirit dwelling in you *without* recognition that your body is a temple. (1 Corinthians 16:19-20) Aaaaaand, how do we recognize our body as a temple?

We care for it. We spend time in it. We pay attention to what comes in through our eyes, our ears, as much as we pay attention to what comes in through our mouth, the air we breathe in, what we touch.

We notice what we love. What our bodies tell us to take in that make them feel safe. Supported.

And *that* is what gives us faith that moves mountains. Because the awareness and the freedom you start to feel through the practice of your yes and your no, your activation of Spirit and all of the fruits that come with it will shift your perceptions and calm your mind chatter (“citta” in yoga).

And the knee jerk reactions to fear become so easily recognizable because you know there is nothing to fear. Not even death. Because the power of Christ – the Holy Spirit – the divine co-creative ability will be so alive and so active and so powerful that to feel fear will only ground you in faith.

<deep breath in>

✌🏽

Prayers

Psalm 27 for the Modern Adult

by ErinLeave a Comment on Psalm 27 for the Modern Adult

This rewrite of Psalm 27 stems from my experience establishing faithfulness – courage and clarity – in a life with constant chatter.

Soli Deo Gloria

1: God is truth that holds all truth. I do not have to convince others of my beliefs or defend myself. I can feel peace in all circumstances which is life-giving as life is not about “being right”, cheating death or “having it all”.

2: When my humanness makes me feel like a waste, I remember my spirit is untouchable.

3: Even when, in hindsight, I can see how I would do things differently, I am compassionate with myself. I do not obsess over the parts of me that don’t fit my ideas of “good” or “right”, of “perfection”, “healed” or “healthy”; I accept all parts and from this acceptance, I navigate life.

4: This confidence and clarity is connected with divine love and I hope to be able to operate from this each day.

5: Truth will always prevail. If I can remember this, I won’t take on battles that aren’t mine.

6: Patterns of thought that manage and react – that try to control and predict – are obvious. I will be curious instead of fearful. I will feel my feelings instead of making things about other people. This will inevitably make life more enjoyable. Alleluia, self control!

7: I am going to need that self control when I get triggered and I start feeling sorry for myself, get angry, anxious or depressed.

8: I am committed to truth. To spending time inward and in prayer. I will guard against believing I know how other people should be or that I know the right way everything should work.

9: I desire freedom from suffering. I desire the awareness to see truth. I desire compassion when I feel disgusted with myself. When I get mixed up and suffer because of my limited beliefs, God, stir compassion in me even then so I can wake the next day renewed.

10: I desire the peace of mind you have when you prayerfully discern, saying yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no, even when it disappoints my family.

11: I trust centering my day spiritually will help me to see the one best practical next step. Trusting it even if it is simply taking a nap.

12: When I start to doubt or obsess, when I feel worried or get controlling, when I start predicting the future based on the past (especially when I believe I know what everybody is thinking / giving them zero margin for their own human life), I pray God – activate my awareness of self control so I can rise above the thought patterns and avoid a whole lot of drama.

13: I trust there is goodness today.

14: Don’t “speak your mind”, wait for clarity that feels aligned with your values. If what you have to say is about other people, give it some time till you have identified what it is within you – your feelings and motivations – so that you can confidently shine light through your actions and interactions. I will stay patient for clarity. I will feel courageous because I am clear.

Words in Sentences

My Head is Not Going to Fall Off

by ErinLeave a Comment on My Head is Not Going to Fall Off

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Last night marked the beginning of my 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training. Sparing you all the back story and all the vision and all the prayer, I will offer you this: I am nervous and feel gross about this because of how right it is. It is a part of a calling.

I am following.

I am praying.

There is so much I want to offer in this post. I want to tell you the examples I have of God’s timing. I want to tell you how I think chords are not just musical, but that life offers each individual chords of events that occur in a unique part of our lives that effect us, somehow, deep in our composite forever.

…I want to tell you jokes about how I am seriously bad at Wildtree freezer planning.

But I don’t have a ton of time and I should get straight to the point of why I am marking this moment in my life.

I am acknowledging in a very real way that I am living very bravely at my creative edge.

I am no longer afraid of my creative edge.

I have never surfed the wave of inspiration like I am now in my life. I feel like I am shooting light out of my fingers – praying for the spirit to guide me – seeing a network of people and LITERALLY seeing people illuminate as the exact people to help, offering their gifts, as I chase the visions God puts on my heart.

It’s insane.

Yoga training. Ok – so – each day of yoga training starts with an hour and a half of physical practice. As we were rolling our heads from left to right, in a quiet space – all listening – following cues from our teacher, I had this juvenile inner hilarious kid monster voice roar out in the inner 6th grade classroom of my body (thankfully not out of my mouth), “GUYS I THINK MY HEAD IS GOING TO FALL OFFA MY NECK!!!”

Upon this very distracting interruption of my stretch, my strong, healthy guiding self quickly recognized this inner child – the little girl who “blurted out in class” and said in the most loving and accepting of voices, “Now, now – surely we aren’t going to yell out to this yoga class that we think our head is going to roll onto the floor.”

But – in 6th grade? In art class? I would have done something like that. I would have really been obnoxious. My fear had no filter.

I explored this whole inner dialogue a little bit and the feelings that were associated with this outburst. And I recognized it quite distinctly as creative fear.

I recognized it as making myself seem less serious about what I was doing. I recognized being ridiculous and funny and without filter as a way to cushion the blow when I was serious and maybe – yikes – not perfect.

And I smile now thinking about this. Because I think it applies to everybody, somehow. Don’t we all preemptively prepare ourselves for failure? And does that method prevent you from being bold and allowing a quiet calm to settle into your bones as you take on your creative work? As you go closer to your edge?

So. Needless to say, yoga training is going to be interesting. I believe that we all have parts of ourselves that make up the whole of who we are. I believe that we have really great, loving, confident parts while we also have really timid, fearful, shadowy parts. I believe that it’s never a lost cause.

Even if where you are right now is a place where your scared parts are the stronger ones, it’s just a matter of strengthening the other muscle. You’ll know this is the case if you live a life that a small part of you doesn’t approve of.. you hear yourself saying “I know I shouldn’t be afraid” or “I know I should count my blessings” or “I know I shouldn’t worry” or “I know it shouldn’t matter” or “I know God has a plan for me” and all those sayings end with “But” or “It’s just that”.

These are the indicators that you have to be the parent of that little boy or little girl who wants you to yell in yoga class. Who tells you it doesn’t matter if you do this one detrimental thing one more time. Who tells you nobody will notice or it won’t be a loss to the world if you don’t take yourself seriously. Who tells you you have tomorrow so just put it off. That healthy part of you that knows there is a better way needs you to honor it – so you can be stronger and – in turn – strengthen others.

Ahh.. Self trust.

I am going to close with this last thought…

My teacher (Stacy) asked us all to “hold space for a lot of growth” as we proceed in training. Big truth here.

Never are you done. Always are you growing.

Namaste. Amen.