“Grace Upon Grace”: A Tribute to Nancy Wieman Hall

Three years ago, Nancy asked me if I would capture her life story so she could read it as a speech to a women’s group. She said she “knew no better writer”. This obviously meant a lot to me (and made me very nervous about my work), but as I interviewed her and made notes – I realized something about my writing: it writes as the character speaks. I remember working on her speech and hearing her exact words and pacing in my mind.

Sadly, I didn’t see Nancy in the final months of her life. I keep checking in on that reality, expecting to find guilt – but it is not there. There is this peace. This awareness that – in some ways – my friendship with Nancy is only just beginning as I hear her even now.

Enjoy this speech – she said she imagined it could also be used to eulogize her, so it only seems fitting to share it with you all today, as we celebrated her faithful life. Rest in peace, my dear sister in Christ. In your service today, I felt God’s four letter word for you: MINE ❤️

Grace Upon Grace

Photographs of friends and family, passed around like a bowl of popcorn on a Saturday night – inviting stories, traditions and enjoyment of one another.

Comforting quilts made by my grandmothers – whose hands and attention stitched us together across time. 

How wonderful it is to have these pillowcases and quilts, threaded with even God’s mercy, as they have comforted us each in our personal needs and rest.

In my home you’ll find stacks of books upon “gotcha books” – each thoughtful in ways that really make you wonder. 

A favorite tradition of mine is to find a Christmas book to read aloud and share with others whether at our cherished PEO Christmas Program or gathered in my home for coffee. 

Doing so, a present which also brings us present, like children, to absorb the many ways God speaks to us. 

No matter how old you get – you are always a child. 

A child able to embrace that joy is always on the way. 

A child able to allow the little things – like the reflection light makes through cut glass – to spark joy like that which comes in the morning with the gift of another day.

Angels and fishing trips – 

Music and friendships – 

Like a Christmas tree is with its ornaments, my heart is full with gratitude for my favorite things; the things that make me smile.

So, now – let’s let them tell you about Nancy Hall. 

My Family and My Names:

An only child, I was born “Nancy” (“like a bell” my daddy would say) in 1936 to Edwin and Eleanor Weidman. 

A daughter and granddaughter, as time went on, my names grew to include “Ms. Weidman” as I was to my music students. 

A date to the mini opera led me to be “Girlfriend”, then “Wife” to Leon. 

And, of course, I became “Mother” to David and Melissa. 

The four of us share many memories enjoying Saint Louis, where our love of the Cardinals – which for me goes back to ballgames with my daddy – and our Muny seats have remained the same over the years. 

To be mother, to be wife. So very grateful am I for the gift of receiving a name. 

A gift a specific person brings you to be.

I became “Mother in Law” to David’s wife, Caroline, and Melissa’s husband, Jeff.

I am “Nana” to Catherine, David, Daniel and George, and to Julianne, Caroline and Celia. 

The richness of memories traveling with my family: Hilton Head and Westover, Stanford and Sweden, and all the many field hockey tournaments <are rivaled only by the magnitude> of the Grand Canyon – where we also have travelled together.

These memories are precious and as beautiful as a table set with white plates and crystal.

My Travel. 

I remember the jammies I wore on my first train ride. 

Traveling with my mother to Oakland for my daddy’s ship to come in, watching from the window as the landscape changed from the midwestern plains to the rushing streams and mountains of Colorado, until we arrived in California and met its bridges, flowers, sunshine and my first ever apricot. 

Whether it was the people I befriended or the wonderful places I went, travel became a gift I would experience over and over again in my life. 

Sunday afternoon cruises with daddy in the car around town became Sunday afternoon cruises up <the river in Prague> with Leon. <placeholder for the 10 year Passion play in Germany, World’s Fair, music festivals, National Parks, visiting relatives tie together>

The wonderful people I would meet in all the different places – each with their own story, each of them ordinary, each of them children… 

Experiencing people on a human level grows you, you see, because they are as you are. 

My travels and my friendships did exactly that. And I am thankful. 

My Friendships. 

“Make new friends, but keep the old.”

Your friends are the ones who know your stories. 

I have always made friends easily, all my life.

Camp friends and school friends, church friends, Bible Study Fellowship and PEO and of course those who share my love of music…

…what a gift it is to have a friend who can bring you back to yourself and to certain parts of your life with a letter, shared memory or a kind smile. 

The first angel in my collection is a gift from my high school music teacher who befriended me. 

After a concert where the choir sang “Glory to God” <in exuberance> from the rafters, my teacher gave me a conductor angel – a memento bringing together worship, friendship and music. 

This memento began a lifelong hobby of collecting and receiving angels.

My Angels.

Wood, crystal, porcelain and metal – my collection of angels are made up of all different materials and are a treasure to me. 

Filling my home, each one has a story of origin, chosen by me for its face or given to me by a thoughtful friend.

Angels are the messengers of God, and though the many angels in my home celebrate this: 

I do not need these angels to know that the Lord speaks directly and personally….

My Faith

// God giveth free – 

light from above –

cometh to me – 

that I may tell others the joy in this place – 

seeking upon knowing – 

grace upon grace – //

The gift of a name has been given to me by others. 

Maturity given to me by travel and experience. 

Friends have given me angels and stories. 

But the Lord? 

The Lord has given me the gift of a song in the night. 

A song in the night, that came in exact melody and <lyrical form>, a demonstration of how well God knows his children. 

That we can receive such gifts unique to our individual lives is so special. 

Your life shows your priorities. 

When I look back on my life, from my earliest days involved in the church – looking down the pew on <Sunday morning> for my various family members to later in life finding family in church community – such as my Wednesday CoreGroup, I know my time has been spent cherishing where God, friends and music come together giving Glory to God. 

Glory to God. May it be so. 

For Jesus loves me. This I do know. 

Sweet like Christmas cookies and the countenance our faces have upon them, 

I cherish the special season of Christmas and the times we gather together – 

for what better way to give Glory to God, than with friends? 

GIVE – a four letter word. 

Like KNOW and like GROW, 

And so it begins – 

I look for four letter words as a practice of my faith. 

UPON

SEEK

KIND

And 

LOVE

These four letter words connect me to God and greater things above. 

// Love God and your brother – 

And live to serve and give – 

That you may be just and worthy – 

By the Christlike life you live // 

Grace upon Grace, even my name “Nancy” celebrates this gift. 

Comforting like my grandmothers quilts, the thought of grace, my spirit lifts. 

I am so very thankful. 

For Jesus – 

He loves me. 

This I do know. 

Glory to God. 

May it be so.

Garden Dance Party

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Alternate Title: What Protects You?

I had a dream last night that I was walking into a grocery store and there was a crimson red ribbon of color above me, spanning the width of the whole path way. And as I walked, it would come under my feet and fill me with confidence, that’s when I noticed it became a red carpet. And – just like that – it would be above me again. (While also still under my feet, but without me ever tripping or getting tangled.)

Then, in my dream, I heard that this was “the blood of Jesus”.

Now – I don’t really use Christianese language to that degree (yet?) but the women at the church I have been going to totally, totally do.

(And I love it, btw)

So, I have missed the 6am prayer line for a week at this point. I have been sleeping until 6:40 which has been totally and wholly necessary. But – even so – I know the women are praying for me – as I am praying for them, as I lay in bed – aware it is prayer line time. And I know that they are praying for me and my household, specifically, to be covered in the blood of Jesus.

One of my favorite things (but also one of the most mysterious things) is when you remember your dream during a certain point in a day.

And just when I was starting to question things, just when I almost got tricked into negative thinking (by the way, there really are different degrees that your mind can trick you into negative thinking – I really need to write a whole post on that), my reality just put me back on track.

Side note – isn’t it your reality that sometimes makes you think negative? 

I point this out because it was my reality, it was the things that were happening, that curbed that and put me in positive thinking.

This, is proof of prayer working in life. 

I put on a favorite ball cap over my fresh hair cut.

A random song  came on a play list that reminded me there is something bigger than me and it – (cool thing) – happens to be in me, too.

I walked my dog in the perfect morning sun and he didn’t rip my arm off when he saw those three bunnies that live on the corner.

I felt beautiful inside and out. I felt cared for, okay, on track, ready, productive, successful, able.

I felt confident in my ability to get this back to school schedule right in the ass.

(I haven’t shared yet that BTS schedule requires me & my girl grew LEAVING the house at 6:55am, have I?)

And it was then – in this zest of a moment when I was stepping off my mowed happy watered lawn, happy because of all these things, that I remembered that red ribbon in my dream.

So – as I press on in this new season of writing regularly, taking my game up at corporate, raising teenagers, praying my dog doesn’t eat that thing that really is finally a problem, teaching – convinced that there is something bigger and it’s pulling me forward, I guess I just am sharing this idea that being rooted is one thing, but being covered is another thing.

And we need both. We ground ourselves but something else protects us.

Is this the grounding hope and the protection faith?

This is kind of blowing my mind. So I am going to think and pray more on it.

But for now –

What do you believe is protecting you?

Maybe an angel? Maybe the blood of Jesus. Maybe Kesha and Macklemore?

Just sayin’ – to me, in my very much non monk, non pastoral role of blogging here in my studio – it could be anything positive that makes you feel good.

The point is that you believe, energetically, that you have a shield that helps you stay on track and provides you confidence.

And now I am even remembering getting wigged out about work as I have not been feeling the protection on this upcoming project like I have felt on past efforts.

But that wigging has even been diminished by this notion.

Because what can hurt us, really?

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

If the universe is throwing me perfect morning dance parties and my day old coffee tastes good? I mean … that’s making it, right?

Whom then shall I fear?

Not a single person, place or thing.

Have a good one :)

erin

Church Women

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This is my now fifth attempt to start and write  this blog post and I seriously know I just need to sleep.

But it’s there… it is right there on the tips of my fingers. And I have got to spit. it. out.

Church women.

I wasn’t even going to write tonight but as I sat with my “church woman” to do list, I naturally found myself in texts and emails with other church women. About the bags for the school, about the post for the blog, about the woman dying, about the new baby… All these messages flickering on my phone and coming in my inbox and I got the chills. Serious chills.

Church women are amazing. 

Being a church woman is amazing.

These breezy check-ins about who is caring for what and whom brought a Psalm to a new level of understanding.. I read it two weeks ago and have been playing with it since: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Psalm 27:13)

How true. And how much more “land of the living” can you get than an army of women nurturing nearly ever facet of the human experience through meals, prayers, and touch??

Even though I believe that intention can bring our spirit forth in our daily “run of the mill” (through minivans and limousines), I truly treasure the kingdom and goodness of God as you see it through the loving kindness and compassion exercised by women in a church community.

You can be a believer anywhere you want but what gave me the chills tonight was being connected into a touching and spiritually intimate aspect of the land of the living.

The passage ends with “Wait for the Lord; be strong – and let your heart take courage..”

And how much sense does that make! So much sense. Because when we are new to community or when a community is new or when people are growing and changing; it can be so easy to try and do something. You can try to talk and convince people of what is needed. You may even start doing things outside of your normal gifting. But – surely, we will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living – just *wait*. Sit still. Check in with the universe, so that the little magnets associated with your purpose can call out to it’s opposing forces and connection can commence. So your relationships will start to surface.. your community.. your purpose.

Building, encouraging, praying, loving – it’s such a good thing. I pray for all to find their plug in so they can serve and witness the way the spirit works in this manner!! Everybody has such unique gifts…

People need your gifts.

And now my eyes are seriously half way shut. Off to bed.. to the land of the sleeping. I’m sure I will see the goodness of the Lord there too.. lol :) xo