Tag: creative life

Words in Sentences

On Creative Commitment

by ErinLeave a Comment on On Creative Commitment

There have been a lot of sparks in my creative life – which seems promising and good. Yet, the way the landscape of my creative life looks has me curious for opportunity, wondering what is the right thing to spend my time on and curious – always – if “this is really going to work”.

I mentioned in a recent post about the comfort of talking about Spirit. Both @laughwithspirit and Fawn bring this comfortable reference to Spirit that serves my heart well – it feels like home right now more than any other word for God. But it is not complete. And I have been wrestling with that….

My friend Milta shared a post with me about the name of God, “Yahweh” and how the vowels were added for us to be able to pronounce however the name itself is “YH” and “WH”, which (get excited, yogis) are the sounds of breath… this idea of every inhale and exhale being the name of God is very powerful. And feeds what I teach in my Monday Night – prayer based yoga – where the sounds we make, as we exist as we move as we breathe – are the sounds from which the Spirit intercedes on our behalf. (Romans 8:26-27)

No more thinking about what to pray for, sigh – breathe – out from your shoulders and hips, etc.

This morning I started day three of a practice using graph paper to plot, note how I am doing in my healing journey and sit with the energy of the things before me: meetings with bookstores and arts organizations, serving my community, feeding my family, organizing big piles of shit somewhere, etc…

In this practice, I flip open scripture… First day was a fan favorite “Keep the heart with diligence” (Proverb 4:23), day two was a reminder that depression and anxiety settle in with an absence of the Spirit of God (thank you, 1 Samuel). Day two’s had me thinking – how do I nourish, invite, how do I charge and restore that spiritual alignment I long for – that feeling that makes me write? That makes me move?

How do I get back to times that have me soaking in hot water for 15 minutes to recharge my bones in between hosting family and leading workshops. I miss being used by God in that way, I guess.

Today’s practice flipped open to Haggai – never have read Haggai, tbh – and right away, I see this prophet as a prophet speaking to creatives, to the starving artists out there. The premise of the book is pretty simple: the temple was in ruins and the “Lord of hosts” (which translates as the Lord of angels, of stars – love it) is like “Hey, people, I see your houses look good and I hear you complaining that there is not more fruit in your life and let me just point out real quick that it’s because I don’t have a house and you aren’t giving me a place to dwell and so why don’t you go ahead and help a God out for a minute – build that temple – so that I can dwell and restore you.”

I sat in my bed with my graph paper, remembering my dad’s teaching to me of the Holy Spirit: the Holy Spirit is the God in you.

The Holy Spirit is the God in you.

Spirit – the Lord of Hosts – the breath of heaven – the patterns of nature – the stars and the sky, the oceans and the whales – exists with or without us. But believers in God, the believers in Spirit, we are the temples of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit exists because we do and bears the fruit of goodness, joy, love… of peace, patience and kindness… gentleness…. self control… faithfulness.

This practice in Haggai has me thinking about my own obedience in my creative life.

Today, I consider what needs to be built (written, drawn, etc) in commitment as a person within whom glory can dwell.

I intend on looking at my projects and really listening for the art that has been stirred… (“ur” in Hebrew… Haggai 1:14… as in how a eagle stirs up its nest or an instrument is stirred awake when it is tuned.)

I share all this for my artists out there – for my creatives out there – who may be feeling the starving artist part of life.

Or for the healers, lovers, mothers and friends out there – who may be feeling empty regardless of all the cups they fill in front of them.

I ask us – are we caring for our bodies / our personhood as a temple the Lord of the stars is eager to call home?

Are the molds we make in our art, in our relationships – are they made in a commitment for the Spirit to move within and throughout?

It is obvious, at least to me, the world needs us to be committed to seeing our making in this way.

For me, this surely has been a helpful reflection – nourishing and encouraging.

Happy Friday. (Happy Lunar Eclipse in Scorpio if that is your thing. )

<inahle> YH

<exhale> WH

erin

PS: None of this Biblical study could be done this fast and effectively without my Spirit Life Bible and I cannot stress enough, if you need a good Bible, this is one will be your jam – all of the content was written by leaders from all denominations.

From my fire last week, I burned the dozens of colorful flowers given to my daughter as I prayed for her on the day after her 18th birthday.
Words in Sentences

On the Number 4 & the Idea of Budding

by ErinLeave a Comment on On the Number 4 & the Idea of Budding

Yesterday, I appeared on a local lifestyle tv show, Show Me Saint Louis, to share a vision casting exercise for your emotional well being. It was a little bit round about how the segment came to life, and – on my drive downtown to the station – I found myself reflecting perhaps there is just one person who needs the message I had to give. Just one.

Earlier this week, I got an email from Chloe, the manager of Apple Tree Magic’s self-publishing project, with some pictures of Words that Rhyme & Lullabies on the shelf in their store. Part of the contract I am in with Village Book’s Independent Publishing Program involves consignment and I have been really looking forward to this baby step in the overall coming together of my personal canon. Additionally this week, the distributors finally got the image updated and my initial creative offering to the world is now officially on Amazon and Barnes & Noble for purchase & reviews.

One person who needs the message. One bookstore with the book. No reviews yet, but it is there.

Driving home from the station, it dawned upon me that Apple Tree Magic: the current iteration of my creative, emotional and spiritual life presented to the world – had just peeked into the world and showed a leaf. My friend Milta remarked, “it is like Apple Tree Magic is starting to bud – it’s not the full fruit yet, but the seed that has been planted has taken root and is branching out.”

In the spiritual science of numerology (stick with me here), the energetic understanding or model of the numbers actually follows the pattern of nature as seen in the growth of a fruit tree. 1: seed, 2: root, 3: branch, 4: bud, 5: flower / fruit, 6: the miracle of interaction with flower & fruit (think: honeycombs and you eating an apple), 7: the growth / progress of said miracle of interacting with flower & fruit, 8: the flow that comes (still studying this one), 9: the culmination – the seeds in the fruit that can be planted, 10: 1+0 back to 1 and the cycle of nature repeats.

Apple Tree Magic started as the name of my personal effort to self-publish all of my creative content. I wanted to be an Apple Tree when I was young and now I realized poems and stories were my apples. Yet, then the devotional book wasn’t a book – it was a message, an ongoing living breathing message that is coming out in waves, workshops and television segments. And the message is the foundation of my yoga offerings. AppleTreeMagic.com evolved into the home of Yoga Underground, my original LLC and is showing very early signs of also being experiences and events as my network grows and I meet with creatives in the Webster Arts and Saint Louis community.

Milta’s comment of budding feels so absolutely true. The full fruit and function, the ongoing flow of the exchange & miracle, that is not in full flight. Yet, the simple root that came from the seed of “emotional & spiritual resourcefulness” has a sleek, slender branch that has Village Books (Fairhaven, WA), Urban Breath Yoga (Maplewood, MO), Joy of Yoga (Rock Hill, MO), Show Me Saint Louis (Saint Louis, MO), and Amazon / Barnes & Noble / Ingramspark… It’s a young branch but, doesn’t it seem quite mighty??

And the Webster Arts Community and Novel Neighbor branch – I can see it as new! I know my next projects, I am SO excited about what is coming and – well – I suppose I am quite fascinated by how when you are starting something, and rooting down, it’s dark and seems uneventful. That’s certainly how the last two years of creating and soft launching two written works has felt.

But now that I have a branch with a few buds and an emerging second branch, it’s not that I am not still rooting as the roots continue to expand and grow as I continue to branch out and bud… hopefully bearing fruit. What I am marveling at, however, is how rooting isn’t the only thing I am doing anymore. It’s happening but now as a silent underlying function of the magic. It’s happening in the prayer & meditation and the intentional alignment to values (use emotions as resources) and priorities (gratitude to something bigger than you first, always).

It’s a seek out the sun, dance in the rain kind of thing. So maybe – to spin this back to you – what are you conscious of in your waking life and how is it feeding your roots? And, here’s where the whole point of sharing about the number pattern comes in. 4 (budding) is symbolic of a square (4 corners) and presents this idea of how, in the discernment process, you typically have Choice A and Choice B and each of those typically have one main pro and one main con. (4 all together) And the idea with 4 is that you can’t be wrong when choosing in alignment with your values. 4 is full trust that choosing in alignment with the values, even if you stumble, will teach you what you need to know.

And the choice represents what kind of tree you are, the leaf denotes the lineage, (just like how you can identify plant species from their leaves and early markings). The choice, like the leaves & markings, presents you into the world not as the full fruit and opportunity for exchange BUT as the living breathing representation of the values & priorities. From there, you see, you and the elements meet and nurture your growth.

I get a lot out of considering different parts of my life in this particular model of thinking. Maybe that was enjoyable for you, as well.

Ok! Thanks for letting me share on the buds this week. Thank you, as always for your support. If you don’t mind doing the whole liking my Facebook thing, I would love it.

PS: I am considering the stepmom dialogue is going to end up in a group under Apple Tree Magic. If you’re on FB (ahem, UK friends), find me!

Here’s Apple Tree Magic’s on air debut!
Words in Sentences

Assuming the Whole

by ErinLeave a Comment on Assuming the Whole

Yesterday was kind of a breakthrough as I brought my project more into form – I knew it was going to be different, just have not been sure how. And, specifically, how to do it simply at first. I ended up working through a few ideas and actually got some recording done.

I think one of the parts of my breakthrough was simply desiring to no longer have breakthroughs and understanding a little bit more about what that looks like. Obviously, I can’t stop the tides of growth, but I do believe a big part of my self development right now is coming out from the analysis and just moving forward. “Assuming the Whole” is how I referred to it on my Instagram yesterday.

I think this is important because most people, I think, want to grow in some ways. I definitely have moments feeling a little jealous of people who don’t seem to have required as much therapy or mental assessment. People who just seem to know what they are meant to do in life. People who set out in a certain way at a young age. Mastered crafts and things like that. Even people who are like “accountants” and knew exactly how they wanted to remodel their kitchen are my heroes. My vision gets so caught up in inaction. Mainly because so much seems to go together. How should it all work? What is the best, right way?

Lately, thinking like this only makes the paralysis worse. Just like worrying about aging or whether or not you messed up your kid only focuses on the wrong thing. Assuming the whole flips the script. It’s different then faking it until you make it – it is more about taking everything you think you should have done, wish you would have known, feel is true about you and having it be the truth, what you know and what you do.

I texted with two gals in my writer’s saloon yesterday. One coming back from a sailing venture and one coming back from a writer’s retreat. I have had COVID (again, sigh, it was horrible) so I am eager to get back around a table with friends once we are all settled in town and safe to do so. Being bold in anchoring community is a big part of me assuming the whole.

I go back to watching my niece today, masked of course. She is about three months old and I am genuinely excited to see my little bud. Run some new material by her and work on getting this book 2 into form. I finally called it yesterday and ditched InDesign for the project. The printer and I kept having issues and I’m hopeful new software will play its part in the formation process.

Other than that, it’s been quiet at the house and is about to get quieter. We isolated with two of the five kids. Those two are going back to their mom’s over the course of tonight and tomorrow. Hoping to spend a little time this weekend recording and getting some things in the mail. We shall see… this creative process is kind of a crazy party girl to follow. Reminds me a lot of me in my twenties. Like. What are you doing, child?

:) Pretty sure she would have said, “figuring it out” <smile>