“Grace Upon Grace”: A Tribute to Nancy Wieman Hall

Three years ago, Nancy asked me if I would capture her life story so she could read it as a speech to a women’s group. She said she “knew no better writer”. This obviously meant a lot to me (and made me very nervous about my work), but as I interviewed her and made notes – I realized something about my writing: it writes as the character speaks. I remember working on her speech and hearing her exact words and pacing in my mind.

Sadly, I didn’t see Nancy in the final months of her life. I keep checking in on that reality, expecting to find guilt – but it is not there. There is this peace. This awareness that – in some ways – my friendship with Nancy is only just beginning as I hear her even now.

Enjoy this speech – she said she imagined it could also be used to eulogize her, so it only seems fitting to share it with you all today, as we celebrated her faithful life. Rest in peace, my dear sister in Christ. In your service today, I felt God’s four letter word for you: MINE ❤️

Grace Upon Grace

Photographs of friends and family, passed around like a bowl of popcorn on a Saturday night – inviting stories, traditions and enjoyment of one another.

Comforting quilts made by my grandmothers – whose hands and attention stitched us together across time. 

How wonderful it is to have these pillowcases and quilts, threaded with even God’s mercy, as they have comforted us each in our personal needs and rest.

In my home you’ll find stacks of books upon “gotcha books” – each thoughtful in ways that really make you wonder. 

A favorite tradition of mine is to find a Christmas book to read aloud and share with others whether at our cherished PEO Christmas Program or gathered in my home for coffee. 

Doing so, a present which also brings us present, like children, to absorb the many ways God speaks to us. 

No matter how old you get – you are always a child. 

A child able to embrace that joy is always on the way. 

A child able to allow the little things – like the reflection light makes through cut glass – to spark joy like that which comes in the morning with the gift of another day.

Angels and fishing trips – 

Music and friendships – 

Like a Christmas tree is with its ornaments, my heart is full with gratitude for my favorite things; the things that make me smile.

So, now – let’s let them tell you about Nancy Hall. 

My Family and My Names:

An only child, I was born “Nancy” (“like a bell” my daddy would say) in 1936 to Edwin and Eleanor Weidman. 

A daughter and granddaughter, as time went on, my names grew to include “Ms. Weidman” as I was to my music students. 

A date to the mini opera led me to be “Girlfriend”, then “Wife” to Leon. 

And, of course, I became “Mother” to David and Melissa. 

The four of us share many memories enjoying Saint Louis, where our love of the Cardinals – which for me goes back to ballgames with my daddy – and our Muny seats have remained the same over the years. 

To be mother, to be wife. So very grateful am I for the gift of receiving a name. 

A gift a specific person brings you to be.

I became “Mother in Law” to David’s wife, Caroline, and Melissa’s husband, Jeff.

I am “Nana” to Catherine, David, Daniel and George, and to Julianne, Caroline and Celia. 

The richness of memories traveling with my family: Hilton Head and Westover, Stanford and Sweden, and all the many field hockey tournaments <are rivaled only by the magnitude> of the Grand Canyon – where we also have travelled together.

These memories are precious and as beautiful as a table set with white plates and crystal.

My Travel. 

I remember the jammies I wore on my first train ride. 

Traveling with my mother to Oakland for my daddy’s ship to come in, watching from the window as the landscape changed from the midwestern plains to the rushing streams and mountains of Colorado, until we arrived in California and met its bridges, flowers, sunshine and my first ever apricot. 

Whether it was the people I befriended or the wonderful places I went, travel became a gift I would experience over and over again in my life. 

Sunday afternoon cruises with daddy in the car around town became Sunday afternoon cruises up <the river in Prague> with Leon. <placeholder for the 10 year Passion play in Germany, World’s Fair, music festivals, National Parks, visiting relatives tie together>

The wonderful people I would meet in all the different places – each with their own story, each of them ordinary, each of them children… 

Experiencing people on a human level grows you, you see, because they are as you are. 

My travels and my friendships did exactly that. And I am thankful. 

My Friendships. 

“Make new friends, but keep the old.”

Your friends are the ones who know your stories. 

I have always made friends easily, all my life.

Camp friends and school friends, church friends, Bible Study Fellowship and PEO and of course those who share my love of music…

…what a gift it is to have a friend who can bring you back to yourself and to certain parts of your life with a letter, shared memory or a kind smile. 

The first angel in my collection is a gift from my high school music teacher who befriended me. 

After a concert where the choir sang “Glory to God” <in exuberance> from the rafters, my teacher gave me a conductor angel – a memento bringing together worship, friendship and music. 

This memento began a lifelong hobby of collecting and receiving angels.

My Angels.

Wood, crystal, porcelain and metal – my collection of angels are made up of all different materials and are a treasure to me. 

Filling my home, each one has a story of origin, chosen by me for its face or given to me by a thoughtful friend.

Angels are the messengers of God, and though the many angels in my home celebrate this: 

I do not need these angels to know that the Lord speaks directly and personally….

My Faith

// God giveth free – 

light from above –

cometh to me – 

that I may tell others the joy in this place – 

seeking upon knowing – 

grace upon grace – //

The gift of a name has been given to me by others. 

Maturity given to me by travel and experience. 

Friends have given me angels and stories. 

But the Lord? 

The Lord has given me the gift of a song in the night. 

A song in the night, that came in exact melody and <lyrical form>, a demonstration of how well God knows his children. 

That we can receive such gifts unique to our individual lives is so special. 

Your life shows your priorities. 

When I look back on my life, from my earliest days involved in the church – looking down the pew on <Sunday morning> for my various family members to later in life finding family in church community – such as my Wednesday CoreGroup, I know my time has been spent cherishing where God, friends and music come together giving Glory to God. 

Glory to God. May it be so. 

For Jesus loves me. This I do know. 

Sweet like Christmas cookies and the countenance our faces have upon them, 

I cherish the special season of Christmas and the times we gather together – 

for what better way to give Glory to God, than with friends? 

GIVE – a four letter word. 

Like KNOW and like GROW, 

And so it begins – 

I look for four letter words as a practice of my faith. 

UPON

SEEK

KIND

And 

LOVE

These four letter words connect me to God and greater things above. 

// Love God and your brother – 

And live to serve and give – 

That you may be just and worthy – 

By the Christlike life you live // 

Grace upon Grace, even my name “Nancy” celebrates this gift. 

Comforting like my grandmothers quilts, the thought of grace, my spirit lifts. 

I am so very thankful. 

For Jesus – 

He loves me. 

This I do know. 

Glory to God. 

May it be so.

Faith in Faithfulness

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I think it is easiest to look at a situation we are in, identify what we want to see in our life, come up with a couple of options for how it will play out / what that chapter could look like, and then figure the future will hold one or the other.

This makes sense.

We have seen a lot of lives take on new chapters. In other people’s lives. In our own lives. In movies. We pretty much know the ways typical story lines end. People with cancer get chemo and either get skinny and lose hair and survive or they don’t. People in bad marriages either get counseling and experience change or they get divorced. Rebellious teenagers get a come to Jesus wake up call or grow out of it. People waiting for a baby either have fertility treatment and end up twins or adopt (or maybe even adopt and then get pregnant.) These are examples of big things that happen in life for which we predict the next chapters.

Then there are small ones: people longing to live without clutter either never organize that closet and take that on as a part of their identity or spend a Saturday and finally purge. People wanting to change their body either lose weight and tone up with some kind of cross fit hi-jinx or maybe find the right pair of yoga pants and jeans and smile and accept their body.

The bottom line: I think we should want our chapters to change. We should want growth. Even if we are in a good place, we should be excited for possibility – newness – connection. It is important to know that next chapter is out there. Especially so if you are in a current season you would like to see change.

I love the idea of being really honest about what that next version of your self looks like in order to be aware of ways to get there.

It’s empowering, really.

But then what happens when you’ve drummed up that vision and then you’re stuck in the middle of September: you’re super tired, you haven’t woken up early like you have planned, the paper you subscribed to has been stacking up, you paid your car payment twice, your face doesn’t look right and you throw away the brussels sprouts you were really really excited to broil when you ran into them on a beautifully calm evening at a farmer’s market? You feel wasteful, unintentional, and a little bit confused.

What happens when you are on a very odd tangent of what you want your life to look like?

When you know the outcome you want but seriously have a hard time aligning with it?

What do you even pray for? Why do you pray? How do you pray? You’re close. You can sense change but it isn’t there yet so HOW DO YOU GET THE PAGE TO TURN?

In preparation for a presentation to my yoga peers towards my certification (I graduate in NOVEMBER), I pulled out a bag I keep close to me: in it are all of the prayers from the past three women’s retreats I have attended. I have made it a part of my experience to pull them down at the end of the retreat and pray over them, pack them up, and visit with them (in reverence) every once in awhile.

The weight we carry in our lives never ceases to amaze me. The healing we crave, the baby we want to meet, the iteration of ourselves we want to operate from, the clarity – the peace – the love, the relationship, the satisfaction, the confidence. These are real things.

The human experience is legit heavy.

But – I think I stumbled into a lightness. Seriously – I think I had a breakthrough coming into October.

If there is one thing I know in my 35 years, it is that there is *always* something revealed to us. There is. I am going to avoid a whole tangent on suffering right now. Because I want to focus you in on considering the difference here between these two statements:

“Staying determined on what you want from God for your next chapter”

“Being faithful to God’s faithfulness”

Truly, they should *feel* different from each other when you read them. Read them again. On the next inhalation, read them again.

These are wildly different statements though they are both rooted in the same perspective: you are one place, yet you see something different for your life.

The other night, I sat with a string of mala beads and just rolled through them. My meditation: “I am faithful to God’s faithfulness”.

Meaning? I will serve, I will pray, I will share with others, I will love, I will work hard, I will honor my parents, I will do my dishes, I will be accountable, I will eat well, I will give, I will get rest, I will read scripture, I will study spiritual text, I will listen, I will learn *all while knowing* that next version of my life (whatever it may be) will occur.

Growth does happen.

Change happens.

God does reveal.

Like the morning sun, God is faithful. (Hosea 6:3)

This switch in thinking makes our relationship with God less like the one we have with a restaurant server at a restaurant with no menu and more like the one we have with the waves on an ocean shore where you can sit, allow what comes, play, dig, relax, refresh, walk, move, pick up, and let the elements change you.

I know it’s abstract. But I feel, when I look at the prayers of these women – when I look at my journal from September – that I can’t help but see some low hanging peace fruit available to us if we commit to being faithful to God’s faithfulness without ordering up our future.

And for those of you thinking as you read this that it is total horse shit because you are in the middle of a rough hand dealt or because you had a rough hand dealt and it has not changed. I just challenge you to say in your prayers tonight, “God, I am faithful to your faithfulness.” And let it rest. Take out all the other variables.

Focus on the rising sun.

May we have ears to hear and eyes to see. XO, erin