anxiety – Frozen Spaghetti

faith

The Interesting Part About Faith

November 29, 2023November 29, 2023by ErinLeave a Comment

Over the past couple weeks of venturing into this new agreement with OM Old Orchard, the new boutique yoga studio in Webster Groves, I have found myself learning about a knee jerk reaction that exists in me.

This knee jerk reaction wants to share context, explain a little bit, walk you through why it makes sense – why it works for you, what is in it for others, introduce you to the inspiration behind it, share. Share. Share.

This knee jerk reaction comes up in response to fear. Fear related to whether or not the investment of time and money will work. I think THIS is why I am noticing the reaction and rising above it, actually.

Because my investment of time and money is rooted in love, I actually have zero doubt this “will work”. Will it be exactly what I envision? Probably not, but that is why I am practicing visioning for the day. Keep the baseline close, learn in real time, iterate accordingly.

Most of my friends, family and students / yoga community know that the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control) are my guidepost for emotional navigation, interactions, meditations, etc. Even my book, Words that Rhyme and Lullabies, has a fruit of the Spirit that controlled each page. (I should share about that sometime….)

In my study of the Fruits of the Spirit through straight up referencing them in scripture, I will come across 1 Corinthians 13:13: “Abide in faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love”. That has been a bit of a study crux for me for awhile, because hope isn’t a Fruit of the Spirit. And faithfulness is, but Faith isn’t. Love is referenced in both.

My dad taught me the Spirit is active the moment you believe the Spirit is active. You always have the love you need, the peace you need, the patience you need – the moment you assume it. Love is warmth, connection, inclusion, trust.

When you learn what the soft animal of your body loves (RIP Mary Oliver), you do so because of the way what you love feels.

You feel connected, attracted, you include, you trust.

And this has to be why the greatest of Faith, Hope and Love is Love. Stick with me here…

Because if you are spending time energetically in your body and with the way your life feels in your body, then you are learning what you love, what love is, how love feels. When you have this imprint, you are now oriented. Energetically speaking, what you love guides your every action.

Is the love that orients you God’s love? Is it also safe for others? Is it also warm to others? Can others abide in it and thrive in the same love that orients you? Does everybody have a seat at your table of love? If so, your love is God’s love pouring out.

And when you’re acting and interacting from God’s love, you can have hope. Hope that the plans you commit to are not just the plans of your mind, but plans designed through co-creation with Siva (form) and Shakti (the formation) – Spirit energy – Truth of all Truth Energy. The success of your plans *big or small* can have hope like an anchor as they are inherently committed to divine will because they come from love. (Proverbs 16:3)

And we know “hope does not disappoint” because because BECAUSE “the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5) FULL CIRCLE!

The Holy Spirit is the God in you. You are divine. Ong namo guru dev namo. (I honor the divine wisdom that exists, that exists in me)

Living true to your divine design, you act and interact from the place of love NOT just what comes out of you but what you give generously to yourself because you cannot believe that you are divine and truly embrace the Holy Spirit dwelling in you *without* recognition that your body is a temple. (1 Corinthians 16:19-20) Aaaaaand, how do we recognize our body as a temple?

We care for it. We spend time in it. We pay attention to what comes in through our eyes, our ears, as much as we pay attention to what comes in through our mouth, the air we breathe in, what we touch.

We notice what we love. What our bodies tell us to take in that make them feel safe. Supported.

And *that* is what gives us faith that moves mountains. Because the awareness and the freedom you start to feel through the practice of your yes and your no, your activation of Spirit and all of the fruits that come with it will shift your perceptions and calm your mind chatter (“citta” in yoga).

And the knee jerk reactions to fear become so easily recognizable because you know there is nothing to fear. Not even death. Because the power of Christ – the Holy Spirit – the divine co-creative ability will be so alive and so active and so powerful that to feel fear will only ground you in faith.

✌🏽

Words in Sentences

“Be Like Water”

November 28, 2022November 28, 2022by ErinLeave a Comment

A friend of mine was over once while I was doing my beloved once in a couple years ritual of shuffling notebooks, ripping out concepts and organizing ideas, fiction, etc into piles with clips and re-used folders.

She opened a blood orange Moleskine journal and read the first line out loud, “Be Like Water”.

“Erin.” She said.

I remember her looking at me and telling me how true that felt.

Mobility, Flexibility, Adaptability.

Relaxed, Able, Life-Giving, Refreshing.

To be these things allows peace.

Even the most turbulent water ushers in a quiet after math; the settling in of the new day, the next morning, the next step.

For me, as a parent / stepparent of 5 kids in a young marriage, being like water means changing ideas I have settled into over the course of my life in order for the days now to feel more at ease. It means changing my opinions on timelines and holidays and plans and schedules.

There is a stoic thought I use when I teach on self control. It’s from Marcus Aurelius Meditations 3.9, “Treat with respect the power you have to form an opinion.”

“Treat with respect the power you have to form an opinion.”
Marcus Aurelius Meditations 3.9
(PS: Buy the book using this link and support the blog!)

I find awareness of when you are exercising an opinion or experiencing an emotion bc of an opinion is so helpful in strengthening the muscle you ultimately need to use to curb major habits, make big decisions, trust the overall process enough to try something new.

Self control in exercising an opinion or controlling the extent to which an opinion (yours or somebody else’s real or assumed opinion) is affecting your reality is a pre-req (imho) to experiencing peace.

Why?

Peace is – by definition – stillness, tranquility, freedom from anxiety / distraction.

One of the most common causes of mental unrest? Competing opinions.

One of the most common disruptions of a good night’s sleep? Back and forth judgments, self criticism.

One of the most common reasons we feel trapped? Because “WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?!?”

By seeing that all of these things boil down to “an opinion” at play, you can then also see why treating with respect the POWER of forming an opinion even matters.

Because… it is powerful. Opinions drive things.

Opinions change things or do not change things.

Opinions decide. Judge. Invite. Exclude.

To Be Like Water means you move and adapt to the conditions: around bends, simmering when heated, becoming still when cooled. It means you are connected with others who are also like water, similar in essentials and different in qualities. Imagine if we were all aware of this!

The idea of connection and adaptation to conditions brings freedom as life is no longer about being right.

It’s becomes about being aware of who and where you are…

Aware of the ever-changing conditions…

Aware of the over-arching connection…

In hopes of the ever-lasting…

Namaste.

Erin

Words in Sentences

Unapologetically Present – 7.2 @ Bellingham… in bed.

July 2, 2020July 2, 2020by ErinLeave a Comment

I wanted to be a meteorologist for quite a portion of my childhood life until I learned that they did not get to pick the weather.

Though I expected there had to be some ratio of rainy days to sunny days, that I was going to have to pick “freezing” one day just because, I was particularly inspired by the idea of picking out the perfect weather for perfect moods… celebrations… events.

***

As I wake up here on grey day #3, I feel a tinge of relief that people have not traveled all the way up here to have a several days without the Washington sunshine.

I could imagine myself apologizing and feeling responsible for the weather. I could hear my friends who lived up here at some point in their life reassure me with their, “girl – we knew what the likelihood was – it’s fine! It’s gorgeous.”

Golden hour would be no guarantee for our beer garden concert. Our morning coffee ceremony really would have required folks be as comfortable as I hoped they would come. Blankets of mix a matched colors. Hats if you need them. Your favorite jacket over a festive shirt. The irony of having over thought your outfit to be covered in a $8 Walgreens poncho. You know, that sort of thing.

***

Personally, I am not unhappy about the grey. I find the bright grey sky makes the ferns beyond vivid, I feel them breathing. The fog over evergreen silhouettes gets me every time and I love a good grey day walk in the woods.

Brown, green and grey are power colors. Sacred.

As I continue to process the theme of control that I started sharing on this blog last night, I feel the need for growth especially now. Whatever kind of experience I am in, I feel my growth calling me to allow the story to unfold exactly as the weather reveals: to be prepared for but not bound by things like overcast, timing or moods.

You know, things of the greater connected world of experience completely beyond my control.

Sometimes the trait of a maximizer can create a mindset of management instead of a mindset of navigation. Prediction takes precedence over opportunism. Maybe even causing grief where and when you could be experiencing something new.

I think realizing what you are trying to control and make perfect is a phenomenon in and of itself: it combines your senses (wow, I feel anxiety) + requires your observation (here are the things at play) + your reflection (why?).

For ever and for always, this brings yoga forward: balancing the effort and the ease. When that edge of control is sharp, I feel it – and I back off. I relax. I think of what is reasonable. I trust the fact I feel anxious means I value something. I find the balanced – open – flexible way to value that same thing but without controlling.

I more easily come to middle ground.

And ….

I feel a lot less pressure than when I thought I was God.