Thinking Back

I was thinking back on some blogging I did in 2021 related to training the brother and sister dogs we adopted. Seemingly in the constant pursuit of “what I write about” or “what I share about”, I wondered back then whether or not dog training was going to end up being “my thing”.

It’s comical now, 4 years later, with dogs who absolutely go ape shit at the fence for a german shepherd (they looooove a german shepherd). The only thing that makes any of that noise easier to swallow is the fact the sister dog jumps and barks while the brother dog stands with paws on the fence. It is as comical as it is absolutely irritating to the bone.

I have been near obsessively working on my program that has, at this point, been received by over five hundred people over the course of its existence and acknowledged by many as having “changed their life”. Holy shit – I realize – my approach to dealing with my own human emotions in order to give my life some purpose and not think everything is in vain has supported other people’s ability to do the same?

“I should really do something with this”, I think, “…then I could hire a dog trainer.” lol

And the truth is – I am thinking about it. I am doing it. I am recording and I am writing and I am creating every single week – something new – something old repurposed. How does it all come together? How do I start? Oh I am already started. What do I do.

I have so much faith in all of this, honestly. But the belief in right timing is only as good as the dedication to practice and use of right energy.

To do the things you love to do. To be the places you love to be. To allow the way you love to feel. It’s nooooooot always easy when you are covered in news and buried in headlines. It’s not always the first thing you think of “I love today!I love my life” when there are so many people dying and drowning in fear. BUT. HOW will it get better if the artists don’t art?!?

How will culture evolve in the creators don’t create?!

How will justice reign if the makers don’t make and the builders don’t build and the – what else – shakers don’t shake?

lol Taylor Swift nod.

Sigh. So – here I am, with my new Buddha (that honestly looks like me and my siblings likeness), my cat and my geraniums here in the middle of October ready for everything that is next. Are you ready for what is next?

Tell me honestly. Please – are you excited about your life? Do you feel purpose in today? Why or why not. Lay it on me.

Give me something to think about. ✌🏽erin

woman cat and buddha and geraniums set out to change the world on a wednesday october morning

Things are Sacred “Before They Are Beautiful”

I spent the last week in Green Cay, U.S. Virgin Islands in creative process, in conversation and – ultimately – in exploration of the deeper colors of life. What does it mean to be surrounded by beauty? What does it mean to be resourced by the earth?

Blessed be the Creator God – who made the heavens and the earth. 2 Chronicles 2:12

Part of this exploration was related to how, on an island, you celebrate the rain for filling up the cisterns, you wait for the sun to power up the panels before you do your laundry. This coordination with nature is and of itself a deeply desired internal rhythm I know I have, but I truly think we all have in our innate humanity.

What child doesn’t want to love and feel love from its mother?

Being in community with women who not only lived this way, but discussed which fish were eating which fish, increasing the big fishes’ mercury and who marveled over who had what trees growing on their property was nourishing and replenishing. Like rain to the cistern of my heart :)

Waking up this morning in the midwest with the type of tan I have found you really only get in St. Croix, I walked my garden similar to how I walked Samadhi by the Sea, the garden of my beautiful host for the week, Riya – a chakra oriented artist whose sculpture garden served as the key dwelling place for me and my creative spirit.

My garden – with it’s patchy weirdness, spiraling thin weeds and a serious need of mulch looked much different than Samadhi by the Sea. Thoughtfully still, I took my prayer beads and charged them by one of my favorite 2025 plantings: a baby rosemary shrub I am going to experiment with sheltering over the winter. I walked my garden slowly, kneeling down, looking carefully – naming what I believe are its main centers.

I moved the lemon eucalyptus and the pineapple sage together (near the “The Stump of Contemplation”) so they could be friends as they will both fruit Christmas gifts for my friends when I harvest their leaves, dry them out and bundle them for smudging gifts later on. I texted a dear family friend and studio member, Kim Joern – a master gardener and herbalist – for insight on my lavender. I danced in my garden when a neighbor stopped on her drive by. I pulled a few more weeds, said a few more prayers, noted a few more tasks and came inside.

One of the takeaways from my trip is a new installation in my vocabulary of the word “sacred” before key nouns in my sentences. Like the gold paperclips I picked up on my first day on island were dubbed sacred paperclips and kept all week in a dish, I started seeing the weird, the unorganized, the unmulched, the unattended parts of my Garden of Knowing as sacred.

My list of next round needs? A sacred rain barrel, small sacred fencing for the hostas… Among other things, of course, like sacred stones.

There is this stoic thought about how you cannot tell an emerald it is beautiful and it all the sudden becomes beautiful. Likewise you cannot tell it is is ugly and it becomes ugly. Rather, the nature of the emerald is that of an emerald, its nature is derived from itself.

As I spent time in my newly appointed sacred garden, in its overgrown honeysuckle and hidden irises, I reflected on how nature simply becomes. It unfolds without rush or definition. More rain does one thing, less rain does another. Early falls do things like late springs, hot summers and cold winters are an active part of the unfolding.

I promised my garden I would write in it. And I saw the process of the gardening serve up a lesson as I walked up the steps again (similar to a 12 hour writing day a few days ago, when I ascended and descended the steps of Samadhi by the Sea over and over and over and over).

“Discipline means walking up the steps again.”

It is my recent finding that the faithfulness to the process seems to be more important than the dedication to the outcome itself.

To allow my garden its sacred nature brought the same wave of gratitude and inspiration, nourishment and knowing as the waves crashing ear’s distance away from the vibrant intentionality of Samadhi by the Sea.

At the 3rd Eye Point, Ajna, the 6th sculpture in Samadhi by the Sea.

To My Restorative Friends at Urban Breath,

This, in fact, does not break my heart to say this as the sense in my body is not one of break but of *break through*. The feeling in my chest is not one of pain but one of pursuit (a deep trust in the energy of my life).

That being the case, I do want to acknowledge the tenderness in closing the near 6+ years we have shared on Fridays at 5:30 as I evolve in my new chapter. Although I do not have final dates established with UB, I have been in the personal process of shifting my time and energy and it is time to communicate my intentions to you all.

For the past 8-10 years, I have practiced, studied and taught yoga & restorative yoga on top of two decades of studying the Holy Spirit. This time has established my personal understanding and I am ready to offer these concepts as a small group series: taking you deeper into the exploration of restorative yoga, anxiety / pain in the body, and the applied teaching of yoga sutra. 5 students at a time.

In gratitude, I also share my recognition of how conversations with members of the restorative community at Urban Breath have raised my awareness of how it is essential to practice stillness and enter into partnership with the breath. My restorative friends at Urban Breath have been mirrors to me, reflecting my values back to me and encouraging a deeply rooted confidence in what seems to be my life’s work. ❤️

If you are interested in going deeper into restorative yoga, please take this one next step of signing up for the newsletter at OM. I am not going to ask anybody to choose between OM and Urban Breath, matter of fact the practices I will offer from OM will be supplemental to your current yoga practice and offered at a sliding scale (with one end of the slide being simply showing up, supporting the community through your presence and natural gifts).

Through our time going deeper into the applied teachings of yoga sutra & the practice of stillness, we will extend our love for the supportive practice of props, community and “coming present with a deep breath in” to many more people ready to be seen.

May peace be in and around you – all the way through you. See you in Webster Groves :) ✌🏽erin