Why Five? @ Basement Study, doing the thing

Yesterday, I wrote a little post about my morning and in it I referenced Paul writing to the Corinthians and suggesting this idea of “wonder if Paul knew I would be reading it on the first of March…” When I wrote it, it felt a little trite. Like something I would have written in a grade school autobiography.

(PS – I thought that because it is quite literally something I would have written in a grade school auto biography)

But I kept it in the post bc not only am I doing VERY little editing but it felt right. And, today, I am further convinced of something as to why it feels write. I mean right.

So, I did the same thing as yesterday – “got to work by 9” (this time with a little spare time to make an egg and toast for me and the man vs. yesterday’s plate of fruit. go me.) I did my brain dump, made my daily goals and lit some incense, thanked the divine for what felt like a massive spike of patience and kindness in my heart (I did not forcefully put a single dish in the dishwasher! Which is my petty little outlet for fatigue and self pity!) and anyway I did talk out loud to the supernatural world about some things on my heart.

Though I didn’t forcefully put a dish in the dishwasher, I was *really* tired and I got quiet. I would like to ultimately level up to like singing maybe? That might be buddha level, but we shall see. I just want to be softer and more gradual. Feels like, smells like, more patience.

Anyway. I sat with my whiteboard and blue marker and wrote the words that came to me. “fill my cup”… “patience”… “warmth sun forgiveness”… “Titus” (weird, I thought) and then the numbers 3… 6… 9… 15… 12… 13… 14… 67 (quite a jump) and then F I V E with an underline.

So why five like that. (and just like that… the Google timer for 5 minutes – the time I took to write thus far – goes off.)

Surely that was not why. I am mid thought… Plus I was feeling rushed. Not really an enjoyable writing experience although I do think I have done quite nice work on my punctuation and grammar.

<sighs>

<slows down>

I traced “fill my cup” to scripture and found this passage where Jesus basically says to a bunch of guys “you stupid idiots, you gotta wash the inside of your cup first. obvi.> The idiots had washed the outside of their cup but, missed the “greed and self indulgence” that was crusted nasty on the inside of the cup.

Convicted.

So I went on… traced “patience” to scripture.. Ah, good old Proverbs. “listen to advice and accept instruction and you will gain wisdom” + “from wisdom comes patience” = listen to advice, Erin and you’ll gain patience.

If the advice I got was to clean the inside of my cup and the promise was that in doing so, I’ll receive more patience, then how do I clean the inside of my cup?

“Warmth… Sun… Forgiveness”

I sat with it. I searched my photos for “sun” and got these wonderful pictures:

the sun beyond dolphins at Bonita Beach, FL…. the sun behind Lucy playing cornhole in Lake Tahoe… the sun breaking through trees on a Christmas Day hike, on a hike in Oregon, on a walk in my neighborhood… then there was the sun up between buildings in Washington DC, out in the country where I was walking my dog (RIP Ranger) off leash, ohhhhhh the sun aligned perfectly on Cannon Beach, above mountains in North Carolina… and then, my favorite sun of all – in the gardens in Ojai (pictured below).

I sat in my basement study feeling the warmth of the sun in a space with no window. I remembered that scripture about the faithfulness of the rising sun. You can bet it will happen… time and time again. And with that, came a wash of forgiveness that comes when you are acutely self aware of where you want just a little knick of support; a little tweak in the mental game.

And though I still don’t know “why five”, I do feel certain that I am headed into the rest of my day with my head screwed on mostly straight.

Going back to Ojai will be for sure one of the first three post pandemic trips I make. I absolutely cannot wait to show David.

“The Most Excellent Way” @ Monday Devotion time in my study

One of the best most helpful things a spiritual coach told me in all of this life upheaval is that as a woman designed in Gods image, when I create – I must remember I am reflecting an aspect of the divine. To therefore treat the time as worship and be humble in my pursuits, gentle to receive direction and open minded in what creative project the Lord may be asking of me that may or may not align with my own plans.

After returning home from high school drop offs, I made a quick brain dump of what I would like to do to, what I need to do, etc.

There is cohesion in my various threads of thought – so that is hopeful. There is also a serious need to sit and do the things relative to each thread of thought and this consistency to sit is the common denominator. So get this –

Today, instead of thinking “I only have two hours to get all this work done”, I thought to myself “I only have a 2 hour work day – isn’t that lucky?”

I showered and got dressed and made the man a plate of fruit and peanut butter. I considered the track from our room to my study “my commute” and didn’t make the bed… bc there might be traffic. And I wanted to be in the office on time.

“Oh so now she starts caring”, all former bosses and coworkers who read this blog collectively groan. Again… time and attendance, not my speciality.

I’m in my devotional / reflective time and in lighting incense and sitting with my mind space, I got the word “love” on which to ponder and ground myself for the day.

Naturally, I went to 1 Corinthians 13 (a classic) but found myself smiling at the unexpected refreshing-ness of the lead in to 13, “…and now I will show you the most excellent way”.

The way of love. A way that only is when you are actively spirit led. However that is for you and your intuitive self and body – however that is for your conscious breath and attendance to yourself.

The way of love is the most excellent way. Just love the simplicity for today.

Now to work, I don’t want to catch myself on my phone.

PS David brought me home a strip of white board on Saturday 😍

Thé Art of Fluid Living

(And why not to ever set your iPhone to French as it will never stop auto correcting your English…)

I am staring at the remaining 45 minutes of a spring cleaning task I am glad I am doing today.

David and I just had a Saturday lunch date and this is our « kid free » weekend. I put kid free in quotes bc, when you’re a parent, you’re never really kid free. For example: I’m organizing their snack boxes, planning their lunches in the back of my mind and figuring out just how much detail I’m going to give them regarding the kitchen and organizational changes I am making relative to their needs and daily uses.

Kara, if you read this, the smoothie maker is now in the cabinet next to the plates. Beaucoup plus facile!

I have made and taken a couple calls about my self hatred comments. Oi. I am actively processing out of it and smiling at how this process really is my process. The more I call out and discuss what’s going on in my head, the faster I get on to the next.

« Nirvana in no time » should be the title of my memoir. Wink wink as the irony is in the fact it’s a life long, ongoing process.

I talked to one of my favorite encouragers last night, Dana. I remembered how my mental dismantling of corporate America is literally the time waster opposite to my book.

(Which I started chapter two of this morning….)

Ok he is active and building a shelf actually he is hugging me and just gave me a kiss #newlyweds but nonetheless all signs I should get things done.

And stop overthinking how it all fits together… stop planning the order of events… and rather I shall start fitting it all together and write it as it happens.

The art of fluid living.

Live from our kitchen is our latest hit song “I lost my beer”