airports and big rocks @ my parents’ house on a spring day

last night i asked david for his thoughts on me buying a plane ticket and immediately cancelling it just to buy a plane ticket. just now, sitting on my parents’ screened in porch on a march day where the sun and the breeze work together to both comfort and remind you of your need for comfort, i had a pulse of longing for that way you feel when you deplane, work your way through that familiar yet unfamiliar corridor with your suitcase of exactly what you believe you need for however long you planned for.

it’s a feeling of novelty meeting intimacy and exploration using roots. travel. travel, i love you.

on my instagram story this morning, i shared how – in surveying my mom’s backyard for a place to sit and do a little reading and doodling – i realized my obvious choice of: on the creek bed rocks. i shared some of my favorite sits across malibu, ojai, palo verdes, washington state bays, florida beaches.

pretty sure it was after that little picture hunt i had my craving for an airport, that feeling of my travel charms against my chest and the smell of whatever essential oil i chose to accompany my journey. the feel of too much starbucks, a new time zone and the excitement – focus – and anxieties of travelers around me.

i love people. the people i meet on travel have a special folder in my icloud. confident young girls, old graceful men, foreign women who are beyond elegant in their simple cosmopolitan ways. the sunglasses, the water bottles, the caps. the shoes.

i always notice peoples shoes when traveling. i take pictures of my hikers by rocks. i marvel at who people are when in common commute: who are you and why are you going where i am going? though not the one who initiates conversation; i might ask you a question or offer a thread of thought, of appreciation, or compliment.

i think travel is when the real spiritual work of moving people from one place to another happens. it’s an ancient thing: moving from one coordinate to another. and the astonishing truth that a moment with a stranger can change a person’s life, an annoying stranger can give you the patience life lesson of a lifetime, a new food or cultural attribute can inspire a whole new chapter in your life.

i have always said i love travel because it allows you to see yourself against a different backdrop than your ordinary one. things you love and did not realize you love, you will find when you travel. the things you do consistently – that are a part of your being – you do when you travel. the things you need more of in your life, you come across and cherish when you travel. you become when you travel.

today? i traveled to my mom’s creek. i read a myth about how two constellations came to be based on native american folklore. i laid out a half of one of my poems for my publishing project. i drank coffee. i felt chills.

where will you travel today to feel something different? to love what you love? to be who you are?

About Mac and Cheese @ On the Cat Couch in Husband’s Office

I don’t normally sit where David is working but he is on a new project and it brings me some sort of comfort to hear him talk about this “custom widget” he is “building for the sidebar” and the way he is pointing stories. Yesterday, I asked him about their pointing while he ate this bomb ass quiche I made. Life is, as they say, a balancing act. And balancing messing around in the kitchen with sounding smart works well for me.

Not that I miss miss tech talk – I just like it. I like being his sounding board. I think it is cute that God prepped me for a developer husband with 8 years of business analyst and product owning experience.

I started a folder on my Google Drive yesterday titled “million dollar ideas” and started setting up docs with requirements for some fun apps. Someday, you will download an app that is our little love child. Lord knows we aren’t having anymore actual children; we might as well make music and apps.

What I am I doing today? Thanks for asking. Let me share…

So, today, I am setting out on a project I have been thinking about for about 4 days: crockpot macaroni and cheese. SEXY RIGHT?!?

There is a genuine risk in this.

The risk is that the children love the homemade macaroni and cheese and I have cast my destiny to making a weekly batch of pasta that involves shredding 16 ounces of cheese when the organic Aldi’s brand was fine.

The reward is that the children love the homemade macaroni and cheese and I get it to add it to the list of things they like best when I make them.

Go me.

Spoiler: the love language I respond best to receiving is “words of affirmation”. :)

At this point, I have now consulted about 4 different recipes for the macaroni and cheese. I have evaporated milk. I have cheddar cheese – sharp, top shelf – cheese. I have a decision to make about amounts of milk and number of eggs. And I have a decision to make on whether I am going to let the crockpot melt and blend or if I want to do that first.

There is a mounting amount of pressure to think this through – namely because, in the creative process of cooking, if you have good taste buds – you can’t go wrong if you just think about it step by step.

But, to my earlier point: worst case scenario is they just say “hey, mom / Erin, go with the store bought brand” and I’m off the hook.

Wish me luck. I’ll let you know how it goes. I never did find out “why five”, by the way. Still paying attention though.

The End of the Full Circle aka The Actual End to the Last Blog Post

In my last post about this morning’s devotional time, I started off on this thought trail regarding Paul and my take that “I wonder if Paul knew I would be reading this…” Then I got into telling you about my patience and forgiveness scriptural math, ended that loop and hit publish.

Read it after publishing (which is my process… it means things don’t make sense sometimes… deal with it :) ) and realized I didn’t explain why I felt further sure of why keeping that seemingly juvenile thought was actually on point.

So the words I got in my quiet time were Titus… 3….6….9…etc anyway – 15 was one of them and, as I read it, I felt absolutely full sure and confident. Here’s the verse. Let’s see if you can guess why I loved it:

“Everyone with me sends you greetings” Titus 3:15

Again, I wondered, what if Paul was proof reading his letter (a lesson I may consider incorporating proof reading blog posts, but whatever) and the folks with him were like “yes! I love that! what a great letter.. SEND OUR GREETINGS” and what if they INTENDED on this being a life long letter? What if they knew that – in speaking to the human condition then that they were speaking to the human condition ongoing?

And just like that, I felt like this connection to this group of people somewhere in time just like… saying what’s up to me.

I find it really supportive and it feels super real. The end.

Hashtag full circle.