Author: Erin

I write - all the time - mostly random thoughts on that which makes me happy every day of my life.
Words in Sentences

This Whole Writer Thing

by ErinLeave a Comment on This Whole Writer Thing

I have been going back and forth on a few things from my last post… The whole going back to corporate thing I mentioned? I guess, it’s really about this sincere desire to work that I have and this LOVE of thinking and drawing insights and the pleasure of when they make sense to people who need them to – I love that. I experienced that in my work at Enterprise, so I say “I’ll probably go back” meaning – I am sure my life will wind me to where this intuitive analysis creative thing is a part of my career. I also love to think about industry. Mainly – I like to complain about robots like le Google and Siri and how they fail me, but I do love thinking about how industries can literally and actually make things better for humans.

The other thing that I was kind of noodling from yesterday’s post was whether or not my point got across. This whole writer thing – it’s just really interesting, because it is both who I have always been and who I am becoming. But the becoming thing? That’s where I am surfing.

I talked with Marketia after my post. We were processing vocation and purpose and I found myself sharing with her how in my “wrestling” between marketing and operations, purpose and practical next steps, how I knew – deep down – this answer of “what am I supposed to be doing in my life” was going to be so obvious.

All answers to big questions seem to typically be obvious. “Square between the eyes”, type of answers. So when I looked for what was already obvious and saw notes across my desk on how my writing moved somebody or thanking me for creating something, it made me really reflect on genuine comments on “the flow” and genuine excitement my friends and family have with me on the future and its unfolding.

It feels real. This whole writer thing…

So. Frozen Spaghetti readers, here’s what I am now in: the removal of the saran wrap that believes I need that person, that mentor, that role, that opportunity, that one thing. I am in the part of shifting from ladder climbing culture to future is now thinking that requires me to know what I obviously know (writing) and let the rest surprise me (even if it is obvious when it does in fact come).

The sheer amount of people who are popping up in my life is actually indescribable. I described them towards the end of my post yesterday… it’s not just bullshit busy work. These people popping up – phone calls and knocks on the door, lunch plans and business – they are different than the endless meetings that kept me from getting to “just get my work done” or “go heads down”. Shifting this “pressure like” feeling (Erin, are you prioritizing your time correctly?) is also part of this layer of saran wrap removal. (PS: For new readers, I retired from corporate life in 2020 and have been actively removing 16 years of thinking as limiting beliefs pop up.)

Yeah. So – I am a writer. Responsible for showing up for the projects. And I am (in my mom’s words) personable and “out there with others” and willing to show up for the people. These two things are a yin and yang that make up the whole. This balance of effort and ease, this is where my devotional practice 3.0 is coming to form. Like. An actual emergence of dharma that I know (special thanks to watching The Kardashians on Hulu) that I have to pay attention to. I cannot feel like there is something right to do and not do it. I have to follow what is obvious.

There’s that word again…

I have been thinking a lot about my health and my routines. How am I caring for my physical body and keeping myself primed for everything involved in this pursuit / moving forward as well as the things involved in this root / staying grounded (for the fam, ya know… and the dogs). It’s causing me to consider my nidra and my yoga and my diet and my tumeric and my black seed and my actually amazing doctor and how I need to get back there for some B12 and prayer. (She actually factually prays – straight up – in my appointments. It’s just so good.)

For those of you who have been following along and so supportive, thank you so much. The guilt and the pressure of performance is eased by your grace and is helping me feel confident as I navigate the nooks of my new creative universe, how I work with myself, and the trust thing.

I mentioned at the end of yesterday’s post that “We are the mirrors on the boxes we carry our hearts in and it is US that show back to the world what we would like to see” – I think this is why so many people are in popping up in my life in the same season I am actively putting in effort into these creative projects. In everything I do, I feel this nudge when the rhyme or the prose can be rounded or more open to let more people in. In all of the creative work, I feel this little jolt when there is insight there that if somebody read twice, went through – it might give. It might breathe.

If I did not know all of these people personally, would I be able to do that? I am not sure. The intro to the devotional has been through several test reads and the last comment somebody made was “It’s for everybody”…. it is… for everybody.

Which. Apparently lit agents don’t want to hear. :) so… back to figuring out this writing thing. BY WRITING. OK BYE HAPPY SATURDAY.

“We are the mirrors on the boxes we carry our hearts in and it is US that show back to the world what we would like to see.” Frozen Spaghetti

Words in Sentences

Milestones, Program Meetings and Project Plans.

by ErinLeave a Comment on Milestones, Program Meetings and Project Plans.

Every time I allow myself to think how far away I am from my goals, I stop and give special pause to nod and smile… I am also a lot closer.

Truth of the matter: I have a studio collab in my hometown. So local, it hurts, actually – as I could walk to the studio where I will teach three summer nap sessions (complete with a story!) and have my first 90 minute workshop slated for this fall. For those readers waiting on their devotional: these dates and milestones proved crucial to the launch of the book. Order here if you haven’t.

I am constantly thinking about the marketing and the offer and the sales goal, getting stressed out about the executive decisions and strategic timing, then remembering: operations, first. This thinking takes me back to all the times in my previous corporate life, I wanted the group to focus: WHAT are we doing not HOW are we going to describe it… sell it… etc.

I miss corporate life. I get asked that probably once a month. Do I miss Enterprise? Do I miss working? Do I miss corporate? Will I go back.

Yes No Eh Probably.

When I thought of this blog post, I was vacuuming barefoot in my home and thinking a little bit about some of the comments people have made to me about my upcoming work to be self-published in December 2022. How Kristen Bell and Oprah will love it…

I think about Elizabeth Gilbert, and the box I am going to send her when this whole bit is done… a box full of goodies and a huge thank you for being the rock that loosened my soil. For the way she tells stories and the way it has brought me into mine.

Flash forward three minutes and I am getting ready to wipe down, do a quick run through, adjust plants and I realize YEAH! …the kids will be home at 3 and it will be their turn to run mop over floor, do dishes… that’s nice. Actually. Really nice.

It’s the weekend and there is so much to do and not do. Accent plants as much of a priority as a Saturday Matinee as much as a party as much as my writing.

Writing.

… it’s what I am here to do, guys. Write. Capture. Screenshot my heart into words in a blog. Gosh.

Writer’s Reflection: this independent act, needs people – so much. Crazy how the solitude of your keyboard and screen involves so many.

So many stories. So many people. So many pictures. And, there we are: back in paragraph three and wondering about platforms, committees and staff. Flash forward again… yes, the kids will be home. They shall make money running my social media.

Then there is Marketia… customer service…. There is Sonya “So So” and a dinner date… there is the owner of the studio and the runner of things and the fellow writers and the spiritual seekers and the yoga mamas and dates and the calendars and the zooms and the peace.

The peace in knowing yes, my circles run many, my friends – oh my, I cherish. This busyness, this puzzle: is a gift meant for me. And, THIS all – teaches me a reminder:

We are here to love each other. We are here to reflect each other.

We are the mirrors on the boxes we carry our hearts in and it is US that show back to the world what we would like to see.

If you want things to look different, you must be different. If you want things to change, you must change.

If you want worry to stop praying for the future you don’t want, you must – must – absolutely MUST – be a lily in the field.

For that lily? That bad ass little lily?

She is steady with the wind, opening as she does and beautiful in her exact role in this world.

Here I am, a writer.

Words in Sentences

Long Time Listener, First Time Caller

by ErinLeave a Comment on Long Time Listener, First Time Caller

Hey!

Just a quick note on *what is going on*!!!!!

The devotional is freaking awesome. I honestly did not think I was going to be able to say that because it has been in a major rut.

The rut was related to some overall branding decisions (seriously) and I was confused on Frozen Spaghetti’s role in all of this… this blog – guys, I have had this blog for over a decade. It’s where my favorite storytelling writing voice comes out.

Buuuut this storytelling writing voice is not totally workable in the spiritual direction aspect because it is so much a diary of an adult child thing.

Yet. It came together.

My author’s note / background / about me in the book?

I titled the page “A Note from Frozen Spaghetti”. My personal blog, shoebox on the internet.

This blog is not going anywhere. And it is going to stay open. But it is getting a little bit of a re-org to experiment with an idea I have.

For those of you who follow via email (THANK YOU, btw) you’ll notice more mail in the coming days (weeks? months?) as I work through the archives of the blog, edit, align with the – (what’s the word, cultural compass?) – and republish.

Why am I doing this?

The devotional that is freaking awesome is based on the fruits of spirit: the characteristics of somebody who is steadily feeding themselves good spiritual food. In the eyes, in the ears, in the mouth, etc – a person is said to be demonstrating the fruits of spirit when they are examples of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, self control.

I KNOW I can be a better example of these things to my family.

I WANT to be a better example of these things to my family.

I want to be that little old lady someday who the neighbor kids are like, “she is always so nice and she doesn’t get mad about when we cut from her garden”. I want my adult children to enjoy taking care of me in my old age because my heart is soft and not critical. I want them to feel safe with me. I want my husband to feel supported by my faithfulness the way I feel supported by the faithfulness of the rising sun and moon.

So, Frozen Spaghetti is getting new categories!! YAHOO. New categories.

It’s a little bit of surgery, a little bit of rock n roll. (It has been FUN to read old posts from WHEN I HAD A TWO YEAR OLD who is 14 now – the smile is still really great on her). The new categories are those fruits and my editing process has the focus (praise mercy be, I HAVE FOCUS!) on getting the post to a point where it is a story of that characteristic. My relationship to it, etc.

Thank you for your patience and please consider not sending me to spam. :)

Wish me luck.

If you want to be a part of the 2022 round for this devotional, it is here. I am thinking I am a little bit behind my shipping goal (probably because I am) but it was always pretty fluid and so for those who have ordered, hang in there. I really do think it will be worth it.

Last but not least – because of the nature of this work and my complete “Soli Deo Gloria” about it (which, did you know that people actually use that FOR THEIR CREATIVE WORK to make sure they align with higher / bigger rather than smaller / self), I am not going to radically offer the book out on Amazon and Barnes and Noble until after a first round of readers, feedback and engagement.

I have a feeling I will be learning a lot with this one and am hopeful to spare myself sleepless nights of “How do I call Amazon and change this.”

THE END! Back to the grind!!!!!