Tag: Yoga

breathing – stretching – living

When you are where you’re not quite there.

by ErinLeave a Comment on When you are where you’re not quite there.

I shared on my IG a couple months ago a stream of consciousness doodle about how growth isn’t about arrival but about progression and how the fragmentation you may see or recognize in yourself is actually the art of being whole.

The past two weeks have involved a high level of change for me. My basement study, adorned by a water heater and directly below one of the kids’ bathrooms (making for excellent water sound effects in meditation recordings, let me tell ya) evolved to a study in a neighborhood boutique yoga studio, OM Old Orchard.

With an exposed brick wall and space for two chairs, a microphone and a yoga mat, I moved in on Friday, starting a new chapter of assuming the growth / arrival / progress combo. Of being there and not yet here.

I think it is important to remember the balance of alignment. The sanskrit term “samatva” is about an even state of the mind regardless of what is going on around you – it’s not about indifference, but about stability. I have found myself very aware of this, this past week.

Part of the reason is because – like most people – the courage to take creative freedoms & initiatives rarely comes without at least one darkish night of the soul where you feel the failure of the work you were enthusiastically calling your mom about the day before. If not that, you wonder who are you to do this work – you see other people with similar work and think they know more, they have already done and given the world what you were thinking about. You could stop.

And so evenness / stability of the mind in this sense requires the self control to recognize this is a pattern of the mind, this is a survival (risk averse) technique of the mind and to take all of the energy relative to being forlorn or lost and assume it right back into the root belief that powers the inspired thought. And to have an evenness / stability of the mind in such case also requires one believe in their work regardless of what transpires. The notion that you cannot be wrong unless you’re trying to be right comes to play here. Be authentic.

Be authentic.

Be authentic.

So – one of the deals I am working out right now is how to take some of my innovative ideas for how to offer restorative yoga to people and test them out in OM Old Orchard / from my new study. Already, we have hit brakes and gas / gas and brakes and I could feel a sense of need for control rise up. The need to explain. The need to convince. The need to protect. The need to establish.

Sattva. Evenness of the mind. I think it is so easy to be in something new and recognize that it is not what you thought without really crediting the fact that it needs time to grow. How many times I have seen folks in the yoga world give up on an idea or a model because it didn’t seem successful right away, when the seed was definitely in fertile soil, when the listening was nourishing iterative change & positive growth.

I recognized the need for control and threaded it into the integrity behind the ideas. Remembered that the only control needed was self control. To be thoughtful about what I felt God has put on my life. To listen well. To iterate wisely. To suggest. To tend to. To direct, ultimately – and to offer.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will be established” Proverbs 16:3 was a key for me this past week and will continue to be so… we only get like this one shot and being who we are, where we are and how we are. We only get one life with these stories, these parents, these people.

Using the body to notice our intuitive voice & align our actions and interactions with a motive we willingly surrender to be examined I think is the one thing I have learned that gives me peace of mind every single day. Every single freak out. Every single clutch of “will this make money”. I go back to the body.

Back to the breath.

Back to my yes. My no.

And proceed.

Till next time. Thanks for listening :)

PS: Enjoy these pictures from move in weekend. That is my dear friend Jan, who did not know she was coming to my new study but had serendipitously brought me a gift of a singing bowl & perfect fall leave & bundle of palo santo. One of the first projects is to bring the recording of Words that Rhyme to completion!! Praying for that because Lord knows I have been dilly dallying.

Psalm 80 for the Modern Person

by ErinLeave a Comment on Psalm 80 for the Modern Person

I found Psalm 80 to be so applicable when you feel stuck in a relationship situation. The poetry in it when you read it several times is wildly symbolic to how we must listen to our needs of our body & spirit to navigate trying situations. And how recognizing your desire for something different is part of the change you crave. Soli Deo Gloria.

Listen,

To the voice that guides me to choose rest & hydration, that leads me alongside others who value rest & hydration & other good things,

You are spiritual in nature. In between the creation of music & music itself, in the blend of harmony.

You, spiritual voice that guides us to choose good things for our bodies, you are a light.

We all have access to you. You give perspective.

Come present now and help us all see. (v. 1,2)

selah

To wake up clear headed, to feel able & willing – this is what will mark a shift in my perspective. This is what we all need.

To smile, like a sunflower smiling at the sun.

To feel clear, able & willing, to smile from the heart – that is how I want to feel when I wake up. This will make a difference.

The rut I am in feels long. I know it will pass but this? This is brutal.

My body has taken in grief.

All of my relationships and my experiences within them point me to some aspect of this cycle I am in.

Shift my perspective so I wake fresh with a clear mind. Bring my eyes open through the beauty of the natural world so I can feel strong in my spirit and generous with kindness. (v. 3-7)

selah

The character of people & circumstances flourish and mature in the pattern of nature: rooting, transforming through seasons, branching out, producing fruit. (v. 8-11)

Since this can be seen as truth, so must it be true we can be taken advantage of, we can be wiped out… conditions can cause us to wilt.

Why? Because it is natural? Natural to end? To go to compost?

So this could be it for me, for the relationship, for the situation, for the job. This could be the end. (v. 12-14)

Yet, I am writing this because my spirit is alive and desiring growth and relationship.

It feels anointed, my suffering feels directional – strengthen me in this. (v. 15-17)

So, again, please –

Divine perspective, clear trustworthy voice, you – the radical shift that comes in day to day miracles & awe inspiring wonder –

Hold me with your left hand’s counsel & protect me with the power of your right,

I am committed to understanding.

I will trust your presence.

I will recognize the present compared to the past and I will remain present in relationship to the future.

Warm my heart, teach me gentleness – so I can be clear with the most precise good thought. (v. 18-19)

Listening to the Bod

by ErinLeave a Comment on Listening to the Bod

I am teaching a ton lately. The main studio I teach from has a few teachers traveling or out for personal reasons so I picked up quite a few classes to help out. At 4:30pm yesterday, I was teaching my 3rd class of the day and found my body resisting any and all plans I had for class.

The only thing I made a note of that my body agreed would for sure be a part of class was a traditional flow through the 6 directions of the spine. (Which a human should do daily for optimal health, so not a lot of room for debate there, anyhow..)

When I teach yoga, I am continually relaying invitations to my students’ practices based on what I am noticing in my own body. I call it cueing “acute yoga” – sharing felt sensations – moving awareness around and inviting breath to coordinate with one’s inner gaze.

The yoga I teach is a direct reflection of my personal practice so if I don’t do it? I don’t teach it.

As the class of 5 settled in, I shared with them about how much I have been teaching and – as such – have noticed the increase of dedicated time tuning into my bod has me in more fluid communication with my body. They chuckled when I shared the very true story about how, when eating a caprese salad before meeting my daughter (knowing I would take her out for a burger) my body said, “thank you – I really like this.”

“You’re welcome.” I replied :)

I mentioned earlier I don’t teach what I don’t do so, I thought in this inaugural journal On Teaching Yoga, I would share some foundational parts of my yoga & belief system.

1) I see the body as the first gift given in this life making it miraculous, spiritual, communicative

2) I pay attention to inner voice and inner dialogue and talk back, using breath & inner gaze as buffers between thoughts

3) I notice what I feel in my belly / chest / etc related to the thoughts I have and when images come to mind

4) I practice revolving consciousness and ascending breath as meditation 3 – 5 times weekly

It has been almost a year that I have been back in the studio after a COVID induced hiatus, teaching from my personal practice which has evolved immensely from when I graduated YTT in 2016.

Not only do I LOVE teaching yoga more than I ever have before, but that the way I am teaching these days has me talking more about the practice before and after class with others. AND I LOVE THIS EVEN MORE THAN TEACHING YOGA! :)

I am hearing from students on how the tone of the teacher’s voice and the presence of self displayed by the instructor impacts the practice.

I am learning how invitations to notice felt sensation ushers in a deeper flavor of being human.

I am learning about when they feel connected or disconnected from their bodies.

And in the studio – I am noticing how truly humbling it is to watch bodies move when I teach because they are teaching me. It’s so freaking cool.

In all of this, I am paying attention, big time, to how it all comes together because of that #1 foundational part of my yoga: the body is a miraculous communicative device. The body is so amazing: every cell, every memory.

There is a scripture I love love love love love (1 Corinthians 2:11) that emphasizes how nobody can know us – our body – our experience better than we know it and, likewise, we cannot know our body and our experience better than the Spirit of God.

When you look at what neuroscience tells us about how the left brain only ever registers roughly 4% max of the body’s sensory experience in a given moment, that scripture makes more sense than ever. Think about it. I sure am.

There are at least a half of a dozen other things I could say right now but I think I’ll wrap it up as listening to the body is a big huge wide topic and I am so curious where people are with this.

What do you guys think? What is the last thing your body said to you other than “I’m tired!” or “I’m hungry!” ???

This is totally a favorite thing for me to talk about!! I would love to know :)

PS – anybody have a trustworthy resource on somatic spirituality?