Sitting at My Desk @ Webster at My Desk 7.5.26

It’s funny to be reminded about what I was writing on 6 years ago and seeing a lot of the same things…

For example, this morning I started envisioning 1:1 time with each child (3 which are adults now) as I drifted back to sleep. I fell asleep imagining having conversations about what they know they need this year, what feels exciting to them and asking questions with the right amount of curiosity as to how I might offer them my support.

This came after a mid-night mining of voice memos. Stirred at like one thirty in the morning, I decided to give into the zeitgeist and see if what JusT&T might be trending. That led to a video about how to cast a vision for your life, which led me to be curious then to fall asleep listening to a workshop I recorded last week. “Was it usable?” I wondered as I began the tape.

Not only is it usable, it’s really good – near flawless in my definition of flawlessness (minus the three times I said “BS”).

My vision of my sister and brother in law listening to it on their roadtrip home from Michigan with the kids in the back silted into a dream of a good friend of mine telling me she would have loved to listen to the recording with her daughter, if not had I referred to life’s “BS” multiple times.

Back to now.

I have a candle on and the Brazil Norway game is on to my northwest. Our recent resurgence of our Sherlock watching has me using the back and forth motion of my eyes to search for the words for this post and I am feeling relief that the point of a blog is to not, necessarily, have a point. Frozen Spaghetti is “my online diary”, as it may be.

But what stirred the post?

Is the desire to better articulate the vision I started casing in that 2020 post. The ribs and the corn and the kitchen and the comet. To see it clearly with overlapping thoughtfulness to my partner’s clear vision, I imagine, would be like scoring a goal in the World Cup. It doesn’t mean the game is won or over, but – damn – I bet that feels amazing.

I want it. I want my kids supported and well traveled. I want my choices and actions to show that I listen. Listen to my partner, listen to my kids and really really listen when it is quiet.

Listen to what my body needs. (Just now? It was a bath.)

Listen to what I am feeling. (Right now? It’s quite directed.)

All of this is coming from a heart hurting with happiness, yearning with readiness, absolutely craving the 10% better – day over day – week over week – till we are all the way new. Till what was created back in 2020 has created its next creation.

That’s how creation works, right?

I know my friends and family will celebrate that arrival so big with us. I just feel my heart soaring at the idea of welcoming family in, showing them around, offering a seat and some ribs and some corn.

And maybe even a view – from a porch – of a comet.

Blended Family During Pandemic Wedding

The Interesting Part About Faith

Over the past couple weeks of venturing into this new agreement with OM Old Orchard, the new boutique yoga studio in Webster Groves, I have found myself learning about a knee jerk reaction that exists in me.

This knee jerk reaction wants to share context, explain a little bit, walk you through why it makes sense – why it works for you, what is in it for others, introduce you to the inspiration behind it, share. Share. Share.

This knee jerk reaction comes up in response to fear. Fear related to whether or not the investment of time and money will work. I think THIS is why I am noticing the reaction and rising above it, actually.

Because my investment of time and money is rooted in love, I actually have zero doubt this “will work”. Will it be exactly what I envision? Probably not, but that is why I am practicing visioning for the day. Keep the baseline close, learn in real time, iterate accordingly.

Most of my friends, family and students / yoga community know that the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control) are my guidepost for emotional navigation, interactions, meditations, etc. Even my book, Words that Rhyme and Lullabies, has a fruit of the Spirit that controlled each page. (I should share about that sometime….)

In my study of the Fruits of the Spirit through straight up referencing them in scripture, I will come across 1 Corinthians 13:13: “Abide in faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love”. That has been a bit of a study crux for me for awhile, because hope isn’t a Fruit of the Spirit. And faithfulness is, but Faith isn’t. Love is referenced in both.

My dad taught me the Spirit is active the moment you believe the Spirit is active. You always have the love you need, the peace you need, the patience you need – the moment you assume it. Love is warmth, connection, inclusion, trust.

When you learn what the soft animal of your body loves (RIP Mary Oliver), you do so because of the way what you love feels.

You feel connected, attracted, you include, you trust.

And this has to be why the greatest of Faith, Hope and Love is Love. Stick with me here…

Because if you are spending time energetically in your body and with the way your life feels in your body, then you are learning what you love, what love is, how love feels. When you have this imprint, you are now oriented. Energetically speaking, what you love guides your every action.

Is the love that orients you God’s love? Is it also safe for others? Is it also warm to others? Can others abide in it and thrive in the same love that orients you? Does everybody have a seat at your table of love? If so, your love is God’s love pouring out.

And when you’re acting and interacting from God’s love, you can have hope. Hope that the plans you commit to are not just the plans of your mind, but plans designed through co-creation with Siva (form) and Shakti (the formation) – Spirit energy – Truth of all Truth Energy. The success of your plans *big or small* can have hope like an anchor as they are inherently committed to divine will because they come from love. (Proverbs 16:3)

And we know “hope does not disappoint” because because BECAUSE “the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5) FULL CIRCLE!

The Holy Spirit is the God in you. You are divine. Ong namo guru dev namo. (I honor the divine wisdom that exists, that exists in me)

Living true to your divine design, you act and interact from the place of love NOT just what comes out of you but what you give generously to yourself because you cannot believe that you are divine and truly embrace the Holy Spirit dwelling in you *without* recognition that your body is a temple. (1 Corinthians 16:19-20) Aaaaaand, how do we recognize our body as a temple?

We care for it. We spend time in it. We pay attention to what comes in through our eyes, our ears, as much as we pay attention to what comes in through our mouth, the air we breathe in, what we touch.

We notice what we love. What our bodies tell us to take in that make them feel safe. Supported.

And *that* is what gives us faith that moves mountains. Because the awareness and the freedom you start to feel through the practice of your yes and your no, your activation of Spirit and all of the fruits that come with it will shift your perceptions and calm your mind chatter (“citta” in yoga).

And the knee jerk reactions to fear become so easily recognizable because you know there is nothing to fear. Not even death. Because the power of Christ – the Holy Spirit – the divine co-creative ability will be so alive and so active and so powerful that to feel fear will only ground you in faith.

<deep breath in>

✌🏽