maybe it is because i am thoroughly immersed in season 7 of gilmore girls, which i am watching through for the first time. maybe the security of good love. maybe the winds of change, the adventure in the air, the travel plans. sigh.
but regardless of anything else, here i am at the laptop hoping to stick to what is true enough and real enough and fluid enough for me not to question it. just type. preview. post.
sure, i may question it later, maybe after – when somebody comments or texts or calls – or when i experience life and what i thought i knew evolves. but when i am typing in all lowercase, holding on tight to a thought – it’s this that i really remember my earliest days having a blog. that true blog feeling…
there was this sweet little time in my life where i wrote out of my kitchen while i cooked. i didn’t dream of being full on mommy blog or spiritual blog or perspective blog. i didn’t plan on documenting every iris, every year. i didn’t think through certain types of poetry or lyric i shared. i just did it, whatever came and felt good. frozen spaghetti.
david just left the house in a fizz as a reaction to my reaction to our busyness – me preparing us for life, him preparing life for us. in these moments where we are both slam packed – thinking every minute through, paying attention to the clock – we can in our newness forget how perfect the other is in their humanity, their warmth, the fact they are there.
i said to david a few months back, “to even have each other, is a gift. to have you to get frustrated with, is a blessing.”
and it is true. what i have learned in the realist parts of relationship is how true my love is, how deep my gratitude, how excited my heart…
i hear the dogs chewing up cardboard in the laundry room and i need to clean up, finish up and get ready.
the day’s logisitics are as daunting as they are unplanned, unhinged, unanchored. It’s a busy day of “at some point” with the perfect balance of doing because you need to and because you want to; even in that what you need to do is necessary because of what you want tomorrow – next week, in a year.
thank you, as always, to my long time readers and friends who still sit here for a minute.
accidentally washed my iPhone with the towels so I’m operating off a vintage Samsung, laptop and iPad. (making handwritten letters obviously best.) – erin