Showing Up Prayer

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Empower and motivate us to show up –

for our spirituality, with our gifts and for our community.

Creatively – practically – financially – help us show up..

for the world – for justice – in small ways (looking another straight in the eye) to big, bold statements – politically – motivate us to show up –

in new relationships and in our existing ones, in our existing ways – help us show up.

 

Garden Dance Party

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Alternate Title: What Protects You?

I had a dream last night that I was walking into a grocery store and there was a crimson red ribbon of color above me, spanning the width of the whole path way. And as I walked, it would come under my feet and fill me with confidence, that’s when I noticed it became a red carpet. And – just like that – it would be above me again. (While also still under my feet, but without me ever tripping or getting tangled.)

Then, in my dream, I heard that this was “the blood of Jesus”.

Now – I don’t really use Christianese language to that degree (yet?) but the women at the church I have been going to totally, totally do.

(And I love it, btw)

So, I have missed the 6am prayer line for a week at this point. I have been sleeping until 6:40 which has been totally and wholly necessary. But – even so – I know the women are praying for me – as I am praying for them, as I lay in bed – aware it is prayer line time. And I know that they are praying for me and my household, specifically, to be covered in the blood of Jesus.

One of my favorite things (but also one of the most mysterious things) is when you remember your dream during a certain point in a day.

And just when I was starting to question things, just when I almost got tricked into negative thinking (by the way, there really are different degrees that your mind can trick you into negative thinking – I really need to write a whole post on that), my reality just put me back on track.

Side note – isn’t it your reality that sometimes makes you think negative? 

I point this out because it was my reality, it was the things that were happening, that curbed that and put me in positive thinking.

This, is proof of prayer working in life. 

I put on a favorite ball cap over my fresh hair cut.

A random song  came on a play list that reminded me there is something bigger than me and it – (cool thing) – happens to be in me, too.

I walked my dog in the perfect morning sun and he didn’t rip my arm off when he saw those three bunnies that live on the corner.

I felt beautiful inside and out. I felt cared for, okay, on track, ready, productive, successful, able.

I felt confident in my ability to get this back to school schedule right in the ass.

(I haven’t shared yet that BTS schedule requires me & my girl grew LEAVING the house at 6:55am, have I?)

And it was then – in this zest of a moment when I was stepping off my mowed happy watered lawn, happy because of all these things, that I remembered that red ribbon in my dream.

So – as I press on in this new season of writing regularly, taking my game up at corporate, raising teenagers, praying my dog doesn’t eat that thing that really is finally a problem, teaching – convinced that there is something bigger and it’s pulling me forward, I guess I just am sharing this idea that being rooted is one thing, but being covered is another thing.

And we need both. We ground ourselves but something else protects us.

Is this the grounding hope and the protection faith?

This is kind of blowing my mind. So I am going to think and pray more on it.

But for now –

What do you believe is protecting you?

Maybe an angel? Maybe the blood of Jesus. Maybe Kesha and Macklemore?

Just sayin’ – to me, in my very much non monk, non pastoral role of blogging here in my studio – it could be anything positive that makes you feel good.

The point is that you believe, energetically, that you have a shield that helps you stay on track and provides you confidence.

And now I am even remembering getting wigged out about work as I have not been feeling the protection on this upcoming project like I have felt on past efforts.

But that wigging has even been diminished by this notion.

Because what can hurt us, really?

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

If the universe is throwing me perfect morning dance parties and my day old coffee tastes good? I mean … that’s making it, right?

Whom then shall I fear?

Not a single person, place or thing.

Have a good one :)

erin

May Current. My Tide of Wondering.

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Waiting for a flow waiting for a flow

(Three Days Later)

I wonder sometimes if I will always remember this season of my life. Mugs of coffee, walking Ranger in my North Webster neighborhood where there is both litter and progress on the streets, family and friends nearby.

I wonder if the feeling I have in my heart when I contemplate where I go to church, feel gratitude to who helps and prays for my family and scan my life for new paths I have to help and pray for others will stay or if the feeling (it feels like newness and curiosity mixed with patience and acknowledgement) will evolve into maybe some wise old woman type heart.

You know – like the kind of woman who knows how to cut and trim the herbs just right and what kind of Psalm to sing to her roses to keep them from getting brittle.

Is that a stretch?

I wonder, of all the friends in my active circle, who is the one with the next thing to teach me.

I wonder, of all the people I haven’t met yet but will meet in the future, who will validate the choices I am making now. In my near 37 years, there is always the validating stranger who comes in and says “yeah – that’s great – that’s like what they do in <name region of the world> to <name thing that I was also trying to get to>” and then they usually add something “you should read” or “you might like” or offer a deeper reason for said thing they are validating which helps me understand how a prayer was answered in my decision to do something.

The Pastor at AME Blackwell Church said “Don’t look for what you think the thing you asked God for looks like, look for the thing you asked God for – period.”

“Don’t look for what you think the thing you asked God for looks like, look for the thing you asked God for – period.”

Like the people that will come in and validate, there will be the storms that come in and expose me. My vulnerabilities, what is unhealthy about the things I do. I wonder when that next storm will be. And then I wonder and survey my life and see if there is any obvious place to reinforce, any obvious tool I need, any obvious gaps to close.

I wonder that about my emotional and spiritual life like I do about my house, my land, my motherhood.

I wonder how many times I will be afraid for the lives of my children and pray for a shield over them and how many times I will still – even after experiencing relief from this fear – I will be hit in the head with the practical wisdom of Proverbs and prayers of Psalms to remind me how much more power good has over evil. How my words matter. How my time matters. How the stories I tell my daughters matter. How the food I cook them matters. How the way I filter guilt and shame and speak in clear language matters. How my listening to them matters. How my hugs matter, my patience matters, my certainty and servant heart matter.

I saw the mint expanding today in its golden yellow pot (which I will likely have to move once it gets taller than the roses) and thought “I’m not going to move the pot yet”. This awareness of timing is something that has matured in my heart. The patience. The willingness to see how it goes but the proximity to be the right kind of proactive; there when the next step is ripe.

I offer all of this – a journal of today – in hopes and in prayer that we all recognize the seasons of our life, the way the day feels – and get some power from knowing it is all a part of the process.

XO, Erin