Sitting On the Deck @ Bellingham On the Deck 7.5.20

My thoughts today are filled with things like needing dinner plates at our house in Webster, how I can get rid of the hutch in the dining room now that I have this little laptop, cleaning the basement and getting it ready for either the drum kit or maybe work space, definitely lounge space.

Thinking about the house up here in Washington and how I am starting to know exactly how I want to redo the kitchen. How to open up this little corner that gets so cramped, how to make the space feel as big as it is, how to set it up to serve 7+ mouthfuls buffet style.

Thinking about registering Ford blood kids for school in the fall, what to plan my schedule to be like to give some 1:1 regularly to all five- see what they are learning, manage distance learning, see how they are. Which leads me to thinking about the people in St. Louis I need to call on for help, to pick up teens for coffee or have some sort of play date with our 7 year old and theirs.

I know a lot of people with 6 – 8 year olds… that feels lucky for Maddox.

I am thinking about bigger plans for both houses. Patios and my ideal laundry set up. Which prompts me to go downstairs and switch out a load of laundry. While I’m at it, I throw some comet on the shower floor to come back and scrub up in a bit.

David is in the kitchen doing the dishes from yesterday. We grilled pizzas and some ribs… some corn, too… Ah, <smiling> he is making sausage and grits too at the moment. I’m on the deck in the sunshine. Reminding myself that all of this happens one step at a time and feeling really proud of myself for sitting still.

I am thinking about this idea my sister sent me to put a “registry of things” together that is all encompassing: acts of service, things we need, etc. That might be helpful, just to even have to keep track of ourselves… Plus don’t you get a discount when you buy off your own registry?

(“Interesting”… I can hear David saying when he hears that… )

The pace here is nice and easy. Was supposed to be heading to Sacramento this evening but due to Covid, we are punting that visit to cousins for a later, more safer point in time. Plus, we got married on Friday so it feels right to not split up and – even better – we booked us both coming to STL to get Ellen and Lucy home to their dad for a bit.

David and I took the kayaks out this morning and I am actually pretty grateful today isn’t a leaving day.

David just came out to sit with me, he brought me a bowl of eggs, grits and sausage and some warmed up coffee. Going to talk with him now and see about our plans for the day. It’s absolutely gorgeous out and we are thinking about hitting up this local farm and taking the kids to hike a cove that gives you a view out into the bay, over to Canada and hopefully of some mountains since it is clear out.

That’s all for now :)

Heaven @ Bellingham Breakfast Table – 7.4.20

Last night, I laid my tired body down next to my husband’s. I was tucked in close with my head on his chest, against his t shirt. He grabbed my shoulder with a squeeze and started to pull the last bit of energy out of my body. I sighed and he continued to squeeze around my shoulder blade. Squeeze, pull, squeeze, pull. Heaven.

Completely heaven.

We got married in the morning, took a walk and went to Whole Foods in the afternoon. Our youngest daughters, Kara and Lucy, made us a dinner of club sandwich split for two, raw veggies and ranch, watermelon and fried egg & potatoes.

They served us on plates we painted a few days before. We had our favorite beer (Bloke – from Twin Sisters here in Bellingham, WA.) We played Mario Cart with Aria, Ellen and Maddox. We were husband and wife even in Mario Cart, encouraging and supportive, sharing responsibility… like when he would steer with the joy stick and I would get to hold down A on the Wii controller and close my eyes.

We are sitting in our breakfast nook at the moment. He, across from me, on the electric guitar. I am on my last half cup of coffee.

The sun is out and the sky is blue. My hair is about dry from my shower and the candle smells of pomegranate and evergreen: a smell of Christmas.

We are relaxed and married.

Just like the squeeze pull of his hands on my shoulders, the guitar playing right now through these speakers (accompanied by the birds out the door behind me) is so soothing. So relaxing.

There are a lot of things I could say. A lot of story to tell and laugh about, to share. A lot of potential thinking about best ways to share and the meaning our marriage has – not only to us – but to those we invited to support us, who know what a treasure we are to each other.

But, you know, when I think about the best idea. The best way to announce. The best way to connect. The best way to invite. Well, I have learned and am learning the true best is to not pursue a best way, no more right way.

Without the fanfare of tradition and expectations, we witness the subtle shifts of our commitment against our status quo. This is refreshing and a gift in itself.

Our marriage right now is wide open – a blank canvas – open for connection and invitation. Its aerobic nature, its exuberance, is potent and palpable to the five people we most want to witness love.

When it is time to celebrate with others, we will celebrate gladly. If there is blessing to come, it will come.

If there is opportunity in our creative life, it will blossom from our time creating.

If there is adventure to come next, we will stumble upon it.

If ever I knew a taste of peace, I know it now.

// God, you are so good to me. Really really good to me. //

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Photograph by Stephanie Freels