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Lemon Curry Corn Chowder @ The Perfect Sunny Day – Bellingham

August 9, 2020August 9, 2020by Erin2 Comments

I am in the process of making what I am calling Lemon Curry Corn Chowder on one million percent the most gorgeous August day your heart can imagine. It’s about 68 degrees, perfectly sunny, and all doors open with birdsong a-go.

We have people in and out of our front yard picking up Facebook finds and Craigslist ads… it’s sad to see the kayak go, the house up here empty, etc but it’s exciting to see our petty cash bucket fill up and think about the things that we need slash want for our Webster house to take root.

Primarily a dishwasher, but – specifically a tv for David’s Saturday morning soccer – I mean football games, the lumber for our Urban Chestnut brewery inspired dining hall and two new black ceiling fans for me.

I am excited to get all the kids under one roof and be responsible for feeding them and telling them, lovingly and with big wide space for self-exploration, what to do.

I am eager to get school schedules and such together and start figuring out what that is going to look like. I am already planning a family friendly Avenger character development learning series and am thinking that I’ll do silent reading time where the readers get waited on hand and foot that flip flops with kitchen time where the young women in the making get taught basic cooking functions, how to be a generous spirit to others and how to – in general – not burn the house down. (Primarily taught by my own sharing how I leave the burner on and it drives David mad.)

The chowder is exploratory and the house smells delicious. I went to the co-op downtown Bellingham (which is in the top 5 of “Things I Will Miss”, without a doubt) and picked up $90 worth of local, organic cheese, fruits, veggies, bread and pork to make up a couple days worth of brioche french toast, chowder and oven friend pork chops.

Okay – so this is for sure part one of the chowder series.

Oh, the person was for the kayak. WOW. David’s fishing kayak is gone.

Chowder recipe so far:

Diced up 2 cloves of garlic, half a red pepper, 1/4 of a red onion, 1/4 yellow onion, 2 carrots and put on super low with some butter and olive oil.

Let that go while I cut up a small sweet potato. Added that in with a tablespoon of chardonnay and what looked like 2 teaspoons of yellow curry.

Stirred it up for a minute just to mix it well.

Let that go while I shaved 6 ears of corn on the cob. Mixed the shaved corn in a bowl with celery salt and a pad of room temperature butter and a tablespoon or so of seriously minced almost gone yellow onion.

that’s going now… official recipe will have to read “mix the corn in and let that simmer with a cup of water and juiced half lemon for the amount of time it takes to write a blog post and cut up the rest of the potatoes…”

Nice Wide Turns @ David’s Office in Bellingham 8.4.20

August 4, 2020August 4, 2020by Erin2 Comments

Feeling compelled to write current thoughts after a lunch break comprised of kundalini yoga for the hips & a piece of sea salt caramel dark chocolate.

One of the main themes in my personal evolution is letting go of the need to address change in others. There are things I want our kids to learn (like cleaning up toothpaste on the counter or being considerate of what you leave in the sink) before they turn into college roommates.

Yet, the management of 5 project plans (one per kid) and the coordination of said plans with David layered by the actual household projects and pantry management on top of “work” work, desired creative bandwidth and personal time is just too much.

And… based on recent findings… unnecessary…

On my flight in on Sunday, I had just had one of those glorious crafty moments where I think of a game that is actually a great way to manipulate the kids into doing what I want them to do when I noticed how the plane was turning.

A nice, wide turn.

I felt the control of the plane, the perfect balance of steadiness and direction, and recalled this double stroller I had when Ellen and Lucy were little. It was a high end stroller, a gift from a wealthy aunt on my ex’s side, and it could turn – literally – on a dime.

Crowded zoo? #nobigdeal Packed Saturday market? #bringit The thing was engineered for quick control and change. The plane turned much differently than the stroller.

In my awareness of these two very different calculations of engineering, I realized the fault in my quirky little game that would trick all the kids into doing what I wanted. What I need to bring to this family is not control, it’s indeed a balance of steadiness and direction.

It’s a steady application of everything I am learning by allowing others their life.

Yesterday afternoon, David and I went walking in the park. I had thought a lot during the day of our household and how to set us up for healthy meals and virtual learning. I was excited to share slash just wanted to hear myself talk so I prefaced myself… I said, “Babe, I have been thinking about how I want to manage the household and I am going to tell you about it but don’t worry – you don’t have to have an opinion or feel any pressure to build on or expand the idea.”

He started to laugh. He was so grateful to know I just wanted to talk and he didn’t have to do the whole sharpen my iron thing. I have learned from experience, my zealousness and excitement can put undue pressure on his pscyhe… he ends up problem solving the thing I figured out… we get lost in words… I just wanted to talk to begin with, so this time? I released the valve right away.

After a brisk walk around the lake, pausing only once to social distance / check the view, we stopped by Whole Foods to pick up an order and David was growing hungry. I could tell because, when he is hungry, he exercises his world class ability to be mad at everything and mad at nothing at the exact same time.

I have learned to shoulder him, like how he shoulders me when I am tired and can’t think straight enough to sound anything other than curt.

His hunger also can invoke “hyper management protocol”. (I watch a lot of Avengers.) With the edge of his stomach somehow triggering a survival mindset, he will question whether or not we need X or have Y, whether I have done X or if I know Y.

Historically speaking, I take this personally and feel a lot of pressure to know answers to all these questions. However – a key thing I have learned is “No, babe” is the perfect answer and – most importantly – it is 100% rhetorical when he asks me “Now what, babe?” about things he knows I have never done before or places I have never been.

(PS: This is very much unlike when my children ask me where things are in CVS, like I work there.)

I have learned I do not need to take anything of the energetic imagination on; it is easier to smile, to be equally curious, to be kind, to continue.

I am not perfect at this. But I am prefacing and I am adjusting.

That turn into Sea Tac on the final descent was really fascinating to me. I have a feeling a lot of life is going to be served well by remembering the truth of staying steady and keeping my focus when maneuvering my proverbial plane.

With the kids, this looks like “invitational awareness” and tailored choices.

“Do you want to put away the clean dishes or do you want to wipe the table?”

“Feel this dough – it is so smooth!”

“Would you like to hang out with me and load the dishwasher or come in when I’m done and clean up the pots?”

“Next time you’re in the bathroom will you see how many things on the counter – toothpaste, trash, pants, nerf gun, gum wrapper, small plastic spider – are yours and see if you can count them up and then take care of your mess? Let me know if I can help you.”

Because I would be happy to.

I could tell them to do it, to fix it on a dime, but the nice, wide turn feels a lot more accommodating.

It also seems to make way for a lot more believable story as to how they became such a kind, helpful roommate.

Words in Sentences

What It’s Like to Be Married @ Last Day in Bellingham w/ All 5 Kids 7.10.20

July 10, 2020July 10, 2020by ErinLeave a Comment

When people say “pretty much the same” in response to the question “how is married life?” or “what is it like to be married?” I understand what that means. For me, however, I am married (for the second time in my life) and my answer to this question is really super freaking simple:

Good.

It’s good to be married.

When David and I first started dating (when we first started falling in love, actually – as undeniably these were simultaneous), I wrote a song called “I Choose You”.

The premise of the song is also really super simple: I wish you would tell me you love and never will leave me BUT I’m grown enough to realize a) you may be figuring that out still and b) you might choose to leave so – in the meantime – I will meditate on the fact that (no matter what the future holds) you choose me now and – *more importantly to those early days in relationships* I choose you now, equally.

Married life is good because it is the trustworthy fruition of that early “freedom to discover”. We are married not because I asked him to promise me something or led him to trust me first while he figured it out. Or because I unabashedly threw myself at the chance of love and acceptance without the mission critical work of loving and accepting myself in order to *then* throw myself at love.

We are married because not only did we choose each other to get to know, we chose to continually choose each other and get to know each other.

I chose to continue to choose David even when my most critical thoughts are present.

I chose to continue to choose David because he is so handsome and makes me laugh and allows me my me-ness when I clean, don’t clean, cook, don’t cook, and watch Avengers movies. He allows me to ask for “what happens next” equal to how he allows himself to not get annoyed, pat my leg and say “just watch.”

We navigated getting to know each other with equal parts curiosity and self containment. We were both interested and selfish. Both open minded and aware of our root values. Both. And. Both. And.

This is Union. This is Yoga. This is Marriage.

Being married is good. :)