I just got into bed without a cup of hot water and – though I am so eager for a flow, that inner voice of my body telling me to stick with what I know she needs to sleep well is kindly persistent. brb.
Ok. Back. As your yoga instructor via blog form, let’s all just take this a reminder to close the eyes, inhale and check in with the bod. Responding to requests (for water, for movement, for support, etc) – is an act of building inner trust, self leadership.
Dedicated response to the body is a part of a root of long lasting growth.
And if there is one thing I know about these days, it’s growth and if there is one thing I know about growth, it’s that growth definitely requires the root.
The root of the issue.
The root of who you are.
The root of what you want.
The root of why you want it.
The root. Your roots. Being rooted. Rooting down. Digging up roots.
That’s where I am tonight: digging up roots. Examining some fundamental beliefs about home and self and transplanting them into smaller pots to keep an eye on them for a little bit. I have been observing my interactions with others lately and wanting to reign it in a little bit, be a better listener, not take so much personal offense when people maybe aren’t super interested in my great ideas for their life or when they would rather be alone than with me. These observations are leading me into truths like how trustworthiness starts in trusting yourself.
How trusting yourself starts in listening.
How listening starts with attention. Breathing. Stopping.
I am going to foster some roots of understanding that I think will really help me grow upright and strong. Like my understanding that forgiveness doesn’t require confession and how you can literally live a forgiving lifestyle where you are proactively providing grace for others.
I am learning how that whole removing the splinter in your eye thing actually seems to imply you start paying attention to what it is you notice.
I am noticing how when others seem to be acting out of spite, “trying to teach a lesson” or playing little manipulative games: I should just let them. Play along. Smile and Breathe. And if you hate the game so much, definitely don’t do it yourself.
You know, and trust that if a person really is acting from spite, their own life will show them their spite. Any time I have acted out of spite, it isn’t a person pointing it out that humbles me. I learn from my own undoing. The private moments of realization. The thing I lost because I tried to gain. Realizing this is big time game changer, especially for step parents….
Pay attention to what you notice and start to see your patterns. And then choose differently.
If you are in a cycle with a person, notice when you are about to do something the same way you have always done it and and consider it up for negotiation. If you would normally point it out, don’t. If you would normally state a preference, don’t. If you would normally share how it made you feel, don’t. If you would normally ask how a person is feeling, don’t. If you would normally draw a comparison, don’t. If you would normally (see how I am getting SO much better) give life advice, just definitely freaking don’t.
And enjoy the fact that breaking this system also gives you permission to stop doing the things you thought you had to do. Let the towel stay on the floor. Don’t fuss over the fridge. Take family meals one day at a time. Don’t worry about if one kid eats all the Cheez Its.
(Which also means: Eat all the Cheese Its if you normally would stop so that you did not eat them all.)
Above all, I have learned growth is about responding privately when something is problematic. How?
And remember. The body breathes, the spirit breathes. The mind breathes.
Retreat is found in showers, flowers, museums, writing, prayer, yoga, walking, running.
The body feeds on colors and proteins. The spirit feeds on scripture and song. The mind feeds on ideas and stars.
Touch soothes. Lotion and oils soothe. Humming soothes. Meditation soothes. Staying in the present soothes.
Remembering these things is the root of self control. That listening to the body.
That call and response of the true need of physical comfort and safety as the driving force in your growth.
Oh. And all of this requires water.
Speaking of which I have a half of a mug left and a good night’s sleep to tend to.
This has been a closing moment here on Frozen Spaghetti…
Signing off, the Little Red Zen.