fruits of the spirit – Frozen Spaghetti

Over the past couple weeks of venturing into this new agreement with OM Old Orchard, the new boutique yoga studio in Webster Groves, I have found myself learning about a knee jerk reaction that exists in me.

This knee jerk reaction wants to share context, explain a little bit, walk you through why it makes sense – why it works for you, what is in it for others, introduce you to the inspiration behind it, share. Share. Share.

This knee jerk reaction comes up in response to fear. Fear related to whether or not the investment of time and money will work. I think THIS is why I am noticing the reaction and rising above it, actually.

Because my investment of time and money is rooted in love, I actually have zero doubt this “will work”. Will it be exactly what I envision? Probably not, but that is why I am practicing visioning for the day. Keep the baseline close, learn in real time, iterate accordingly.

Most of my friends, family and students / yoga community know that the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control) are my guidepost for emotional navigation, interactions, meditations, etc. Even my book, Words that Rhyme and Lullabies, has a fruit of the Spirit that controlled each page. (I should share about that sometime….)

In my study of the Fruits of the Spirit through straight up referencing them in scripture, I will come across 1 Corinthians 13:13: “Abide in faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love”. That has been a bit of a study crux for me for awhile, because hope isn’t a Fruit of the Spirit. And faithfulness is, but Faith isn’t. Love is referenced in both.

My dad taught me the Spirit is active the moment you believe the Spirit is active. You always have the love you need, the peace you need, the patience you need – the moment you assume it. Love is warmth, connection, inclusion, trust.

When you learn what the soft animal of your body loves (RIP Mary Oliver), you do so because of the way what you love feels.

You feel connected, attracted, you include, you trust.

And this has to be why the greatest of Faith, Hope and Love is Love. Stick with me here…

Because if you are spending time energetically in your body and with the way your life feels in your body, then you are learning what you love, what love is, how love feels. When you have this imprint, you are now oriented. Energetically speaking, what you love guides your every action.

Is the love that orients you God’s love? Is it also safe for others? Is it also warm to others? Can others abide in it and thrive in the same love that orients you? Does everybody have a seat at your table of love? If so, your love is God’s love pouring out.

And when you’re acting and interacting from God’s love, you can have hope. Hope that the plans you commit to are not just the plans of your mind, but plans designed through co-creation with Siva (form) and Shakti (the formation) – Spirit energy – Truth of all Truth Energy. The success of your plans *big or small* can have hope like an anchor as they are inherently committed to divine will because they come from love. (Proverbs 16:3)

And we know “hope does not disappoint” because because BECAUSE “the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5) FULL CIRCLE!

The Holy Spirit is the God in you. You are divine. Ong namo guru dev namo. (I honor the divine wisdom that exists, that exists in me)

Living true to your divine design, you act and interact from the place of love NOT just what comes out of you but what you give generously to yourself because you cannot believe that you are divine and truly embrace the Holy Spirit dwelling in you *without* recognition that your body is a temple. (1 Corinthians 16:19-20) Aaaaaand, how do we recognize our body as a temple?

We care for it. We spend time in it. We pay attention to what comes in through our eyes, our ears, as much as we pay attention to what comes in through our mouth, the air we breathe in, what we touch.

We notice what we love. What our bodies tell us to take in that make them feel safe. Supported.

And *that* is what gives us faith that moves mountains. Because the awareness and the freedom you start to feel through the practice of your yes and your no, your activation of Spirit and all of the fruits that come with it will shift your perceptions and calm your mind chatter (“citta” in yoga).

And the knee jerk reactions to fear become so easily recognizable because you know there is nothing to fear. Not even death. Because the power of Christ – the Holy Spirit – the divine co-creative ability will be so alive and so active and so powerful that to feel fear will only ground you in faith.

✌🏽

I shared on my IG a couple months ago a stream of consciousness doodle about how growth isn’t about arrival but about progression and how the fragmentation you may see or recognize in yourself is actually the art of being whole.

The past two weeks have involved a high level of change for me. My basement study, adorned by a water heater and directly below one of the kids’ bathrooms (making for excellent water sound effects in meditation recordings, let me tell ya) evolved to a study in a neighborhood boutique yoga studio, OM Old Orchard.

With an exposed brick wall and space for two chairs, a microphone and a yoga mat, I moved in on Friday, starting a new chapter of assuming the growth / arrival / progress combo. Of being there and not yet here.

I think it is important to remember the balance of alignment. The sanskrit term “samatva” is about an even state of the mind regardless of what is going on around you – it’s not about indifference, but about stability. I have found myself very aware of this, this past week.

Part of the reason is because – like most people – the courage to take creative freedoms & initiatives rarely comes without at least one darkish night of the soul where you feel the failure of the work you were enthusiastically calling your mom about the day before. If not that, you wonder who are you to do this work – you see other people with similar work and think they know more, they have already done and given the world what you were thinking about. You could stop.

And so evenness / stability of the mind in this sense requires the self control to recognize this is a pattern of the mind, this is a survival (risk averse) technique of the mind and to take all of the energy relative to being forlorn or lost and assume it right back into the root belief that powers the inspired thought. And to have an evenness / stability of the mind in such case also requires one believe in their work regardless of what transpires. The notion that you cannot be wrong unless you’re trying to be right comes to play here. Be authentic.

Be authentic.

So – one of the deals I am working out right now is how to take some of my innovative ideas for how to offer restorative yoga to people and test them out in OM Old Orchard / from my new study. Already, we have hit brakes and gas / gas and brakes and I could feel a sense of need for control rise up. The need to explain. The need to convince. The need to protect. The need to establish.

Sattva. Evenness of the mind. I think it is so easy to be in something new and recognize that it is not what you thought without really crediting the fact that it needs time to grow. How many times I have seen folks in the yoga world give up on an idea or a model because it didn’t seem successful right away, when the seed was definitely in fertile soil, when the listening was nourishing iterative change & positive growth.

I recognized the need for control and threaded it into the integrity behind the ideas. Remembered that the only control needed was self control. To be thoughtful about what I felt God has put on my life. To listen well. To iterate wisely. To suggest. To tend to. To direct, ultimately – and to offer.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will be established” Proverbs 16:3 was a key for me this past week and will continue to be so… we only get like this one shot and being who we are, where we are and how we are. We only get one life with these stories, these parents, these people.

Using the body to notice our intuitive voice & align our actions and interactions with a motive we willingly surrender to be examined I think is the one thing I have learned that gives me peace of mind every single day. Every single freak out. Every single clutch of “will this make money”. I go back to the body.

Back to the breath.

Back to my yes. My no.

And proceed.

Till next time. Thanks for listening :)

PS: Enjoy these pictures from move in weekend. That is my dear friend Jan, who did not know she was coming to my new study but had serendipitously brought me a gift of a singing bowl & perfect fall leave & bundle of palo santo. One of the first projects is to bring the recording of Words that Rhyme to completion!! Praying for that because Lord knows I have been dilly dallying.