Reality Check One Two, One Two @ Waiting on the Coffee, Sitting on the Couch – Webster

I was so excited to sit and write a post that started with something like “everybody agrees how bad I am at Mario Kart makes zero sense given how good (actually I would say stellar) I was driving through Idaho’s curves”.

But the reality is this post is coming by way of early morning time to write due to household cat management. It’s not really an inspired moment of reflection on our road trip home. (Trust me when I say, I have a lot to share on the days in between now and the post I wrote sitting on the couch on the front deck of our house in Bellingham.)

As I am writing this, I am interrupted by our resident cat coming *out of nowhere* and screeching as she pounced on new comer cat’s paw curiously poking out from the bottom of the basement door. Cat. Management.

We have this circus cycle of cats to litter box, cats to outside, cats to basement rotation going on as we (please dear God make this work) acquaint and blend our combined three cats.

Kids are blending fine. So fine that they apparently do not sleep and I hear both sets of new sisters rounding out their “all nighters” upstairs. Good. Grief.

Personally, I am recognizing this cat wake up call this morning as an introduction to being in front of a computer screen at 5:30a as I plan to work early once the kids are back in school so I can break mid day for a couple of hours to do the whole lunch, “what are you learning”, “let’s do science” thing.

The lunch part of that equation is especially important as the teens “free feed” which, you know, makes everything harder (per a cat article on how to introduce new cats…) The weeks we did an established lunch time during quarantine seemed to work out well.

….Except now I am not sure what meal you call what they eat at noon… per some quarantine inspired song lyrics I wrote, “dinner is breakfast, and breakfast is dinner, and lunch is all the time….”

All of this to say – The reality checks will happen. All nighters will meet all day zoom school starting Monday. The cats will eventually cross actual paths. My work schedule is going to have to get serious.

And with those upcoming cruxes (life is really just a climbing route), there are plenty of other new, less challenging, realities: that I am deeply charged by when all 5 kids are together, the humor David and I find in our combined calico of cats and kids, and the confidence we have in our current phase… being in the same bed every night. These are rich, live-giving things.

I, of course, have a short list of observations and sentimentalities to explore and share. I, of course, have things I am learning and leaning into. Specifically, this notion of “being the generous and just queen” and handling blips a little better… like when my stepdaughter assumed my chimichanga was hers and asked me to remove the toppings. Rather than being a generous and just queen “oh! I thought you had your dinner, here, let’s split it”, I forfeited my longed for Mexican, nearly cried and let that moment mean more than necessary.

I had the hardest time falling asleep that night processing how I wished I had assumed my power as the woman who will be showing this young girl how to be kind and fair and generous. Then feeling the relief that I get to try again the next day. Then the wash of “man, why did I act like one of the kids”, with then the relief of “now you know”.

Ah, the cycle of process and growth…

I do need to acknowledge the role of fatigue and hunger in those moments; causing me to not handle things as well as I did the winding roads in Idaho. It’s just plain science that I will have moments where reactions are human reactions and not the strategies of well rested royalty. It’s just, I suppose, a reality check to self care and to fold in and to communicate gently.

Anyway. It’s been a couple of days so I have a lot starting to bubble up and work itself out in words and phrasing. But it’s time to wrap it up and have a little coffee time with the husband.

…It is such a neat season to be paying attention. //

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According to Ellen (who did not sleep and is walking to Starbucks as we speak with Aria), I am waiting to knock out some cats with my Captain America shield.
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Scene from last night while three pizzas, 30 toasted raviolis, 1/4 watermelon, a quart of strawberries and salad were put out on the buffet. :)

“Full As A Tick” @ Webster House 7.17

I’ll tell ya – having this quart of Oberweis’ “SUPER PREMIUM CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM” sure does help me feel better about forgetting to cancel / adjust my delivery this week which has 2 gallons of deliciously unnecessary milk in my fridge.

The kids are at their respective other biological parent’s while we seemingly honeymoon – which looks like the continuation of an Avengers marathon, an enviable selection of beer in the fridge, and – well – a lot of milk atop busy work weeks and cleaning / purging / prepping the house.

David will have you know: this is *not* our honeymoon.

But we *are* freshly married and it is sweet like honey and we are coming up on a new moon which seem to be all the ingredients of a “meet cue” where the two of us meet our marriage and enter the rest of our life.

One must also consider we are still in the middle of a global pandemic. As most surely understand: the limitations are real and the reality of different as normal is weird.

“Got your mask, babe?”

‘Got it, babe”…. tucks hand sanitizer in bag and heads out to stock up on beer… again…

***

Looking at David “as my husband” is new and different and encouraging. I feel lucky in a lot of ways.

I have always been one to try and grow and change – but this has me really pushing myself to get rid of ideas and bins of Christmas decorations, mediocre children’s artwork (no offense, kids) and dried herbs from trips to California.

We have a lot of work to do to get ready for the kids. Streamlined everything, fresh paint, clean floors, a basement lounge room. With the pandemic going on, we can’t have a painting party and – in a lot of ways – the celebration of our marriage and blending and soon to be housewarming is subtle and ours.

I miss people being a part of my life and milestones, but I think the universe is playing this hard beautifully. I can follow my introvert husband’s lead with very little distraction from the outside world.

***

The movie is on and Director Fury is about to get smoked so…

***

Scene was intense – bad guy is freaking us out . We decided to pause it and get Chik Filet. In the car at the moment and David is loving the quiet streets and finds the fact that Chik Filet is open till 10p “uplifting”.

***

Side note – we have actually been eating well. I made cauliflower buffalo bites and lemon orzo soup (two new recipes). My friend Mia taught me a salad made with cashews, crumbled goat cheese, avocado, cherry tomatoes, a little white onion and lemon juice / olive oil. But, yeah…. we are getting chicken sandwiches and neither of us are hungry.

We are, I guess you could say, “eating for sport”.

This post has the potential to go on forever so let me ask David (who is currently humming the 1812 overture at the moment) what my last line should be…

<drumroll>

***

“And here we go round again”, he says.

***

It seems he was thinking too much about it. Let me try again.

***

“Sometimes you need some good fixins”, he says.

We’ll take it. :)