Author: Erin

I write - all the time - mostly random thoughts on that which makes me happy every day of my life.
Yoga

The human experience of having a faith life.

by ErinLeave a Comment on The human experience of having a faith life.

Since October, I have been allowing the obvious words (what the folks in my restorative yoga community are sharing) surface. I have sat with them and given them space to come together to help me string together something meaningful, some way to describe what it is one might experience in the practice.

There is always the option with yoga to simply call it yoga or restorative yoga or whatever and trust the practitioner will get whatever they need to get out of it. Yet, the depth of my study in regards to the Holy Spirit – the fruits of the spirit – the divine consciousness, somatic spirituality, the way it feels when you feel and then breathe and why that works to enter into some understanding of freedom – why, if you say you follow Jesus, this practice is actually so essential – how the elements of the earth actually poetically unlock the Psalms – how the understanding of Ishwara from yoga sutra connects you so beyond beyond – I mean… it’s the stuff that cultivates your faith life.

You have a faith life.

I think that is what I am realizing more and more.

See, my restorative yoga classes are a 50 / 50 split men and women. They aren’t explicitly teaching on the fruits of the spirit nor are they outwardly “spiritual” or “witchy” in anyway. Or whatever the words are that tend to be a marketing angle or conversation for the female demographic.

The classes are about care & curiosity of the physical body, awareness of the emotional or energetic sensations in the body and becoming present. Being present. Being present.

Coming back to being present.

<inhale>

<exhale>

You know, the more I think about it, I really don’t want to get into the market of saying I know the way to experience God or that I can usher you into some divine or transcendent relationship. I know my role in life, my gifting, is to host and make safe. I have been called and equipped to be endlessly generous with care and comfort. How some people are able to build, I am able to soften. I design paths to perspective rooted in spiritual truth; trustworthy because it doesn’t know the one right way.

One of the honors in my life’s work is when I connect with people who have experienced spiritual safety in the restorative yoga or spiritual direction I offer. My entire life shifted when I realized I didn’t have to pray, emailing God and wait for a response on whether or not I would get what I asked for. Rather, my study (thank you to my teachers) and my practice and the Spirit that dwells within me activated this understanding that you always have exactly what you need.

This presence of self and this full awareness of where you are – right here, right now – this is Stoic, Yogic and Christ Consciousness, Old Testament stories give us this in rich narrative & poetry.

And you know the thing that tells us otherwise? Ads.

My rule of thumb, and I have found myself sharing this more these days for some reason – is that whenever I find myself about to Google what I need or a solution to how I feel. Whenever I feel like I need a certain treatment or need to spend to heal, I ask myself what somebody in Bible times would have done. What would the most ancient of my ancestors do with the feeling I have in my body.

Sit on a rock?

Drink some water?

Get comfortable?

Look around?

Seek higher ground?

Try to rest?

Wander the natural world seeking a sage?

Allowing the intuitive yes and no to lead me in any of these ways?

We all have a faith life. Whatever you believe is going to work to bring love (connection), peace (an evenness within) or joy (hey! wow!) is your faith. Whatever you believe will happen again tomorrow like it did today (rising moon? setting sun, anybody?) Whatever you know is the way things always work (light after darkness is a good one or the process of compost or how elements of the natural world work together) is the way things will always work.

In yoga, Ishwara is the supreme divine. It is what taught our ancient ancestors and what continues to teach us today. Ishwara is ultimate because it is the beginning and the end. We experience Ishwara when we chant OM – the literal sound of a circle as the mouth goes from Ah to Oh to Mm.

Circles are a great way to recognize where your faith. Cycle of thought or cyclical behavior not working for you? Giving you anxiety? That’s a great place to start rewiring into a new loop. Clear the mind chatter by establishing the miraculous circle of body – breath – mind – breath – body – breath – mind – breath – body – you get it.

I guess what I am trying to say is that having a faith life is not “being spiritual” or “being Christian” or “being religious”. It is being human.

SO. What do you put your faith in?

<deep breath in>

Words in Sentences

The beauty of a night at home

by ErinLeave a Comment on The beauty of a night at home

I am currently sitting at our kitchen table, with End Game on the Google Home, a pot pie from scratch in the oven and one glass of wine done. I have nowhere to be tonight, no classes until 5:30p tomorrow night making Thursday nights (like Tuesday nights) sacred.

My body has gotten tired for the first time since I have been teaching 7+ classes a week. Like – so tired. I am not sure if it is related to COVID comeback (was sick on Thanksgiving) or just a late night watching my oldest daughter’s performance on repeat, but it all just hurts.

I have learned in teaching that the way to keep teaching yoga fluid to life (avoiding it feeling “like work”) is to teach completely 100% from where you are authentically. It might mean a more meditative / slower practice. Which is fine.

I have been thinking so much about my schedule. Many pieces of paper exist in my journal and planner with sketches of my week: how many hours at studio A, how many hours at my new study at studio B, when I design class, when I will invite friends up to the new studio to experiment with my new line of business: therapeutic restorative yoga, a non class class, where you order what your body needs and I guide you into a deep, supported rest.

And then there are kids – dogs – bathrooms to clean and a husband to love and support. At some point? I study. I read scripture. I pray. I lay in a dark room, breathing, waiting for words – for what’s next – and that is work. I wake up and I take time to align my intuitive voice – a literal 10 minutes of “yes”, “no”, “yes”, “no”, “no”, “no” as I go through my life. Making sure I emerge from my bed activated and ready to live this one life I have to the fullest.

In a way, this simple night at home – <breaks to check pie> feels like old times. Like 2020 when I “retired from corporate life” and binged Netflix and learned new cooking techniques from Samin’s Fat Salt Acid Heat. It actually feels even more throw back than that – like this simplicity of being me in my life without the push of living. Yet, it is just a present as connecting with others, direct eye contact, making a plan and leading a retreat.

I read in scripture this past week that it is because we are loved that we have been designed to produce good works. (I can’t remember the book / chapter / verse) but I felt this shift of perspective. I think I would have thought about that as “I am loved so I am designed special” a year ago.

Which makes sense – when you make something, you love it, it is special because of the time you spend on it. <crosses fingers the pot pie is special>

But, I think that scripture is also pointing us to the fact that it is because we are all loved that we are designed to produce good works. Like you can produce good works because I am loved. I can produce good works because you are loved. Because that is a way divine love comes to this world: through our works. We are able to make and create good in the world because God loves the world. God loves the person you are going to see tomorrow. God loves the partner you’ll meet and do business with in ten years. God loves my future book agent. And God will love these people through us.

I think thinking of it like this should feel empowering. Take you less out of the storyline of your life and more into an awareness of all the storylines going on at any given point in time. There’s power in that. For sure.

Okay – the Hulk is about to get an infinity stone and I need to rotate the pie.

Goodnight!

faith

The Interesting Part About Faith

by ErinLeave a Comment on The Interesting Part About Faith

Over the past couple weeks of venturing into this new agreement with OM Old Orchard, the new boutique yoga studio in Webster Groves, I have found myself learning about a knee jerk reaction that exists in me.

This knee jerk reaction wants to share context, explain a little bit, walk you through why it makes sense – why it works for you, what is in it for others, introduce you to the inspiration behind it, share. Share. Share.

This knee jerk reaction comes up in response to fear. Fear related to whether or not the investment of time and money will work. I think THIS is why I am noticing the reaction and rising above it, actually.

Because my investment of time and money is rooted in love, I actually have zero doubt this “will work”. Will it be exactly what I envision? Probably not, but that is why I am practicing visioning for the day. Keep the baseline close, learn in real time, iterate accordingly.

Most of my friends, family and students / yoga community know that the Fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness and self control) are my guidepost for emotional navigation, interactions, meditations, etc. Even my book, Words that Rhyme and Lullabies, has a fruit of the Spirit that controlled each page. (I should share about that sometime….)

In my study of the Fruits of the Spirit through straight up referencing them in scripture, I will come across 1 Corinthians 13:13: “Abide in faith, hope and love but the greatest of these is love”. That has been a bit of a study crux for me for awhile, because hope isn’t a Fruit of the Spirit. And faithfulness is, but Faith isn’t. Love is referenced in both.

My dad taught me the Spirit is active the moment you believe the Spirit is active. You always have the love you need, the peace you need, the patience you need – the moment you assume it. Love is warmth, connection, inclusion, trust.

When you learn what the soft animal of your body loves (RIP Mary Oliver), you do so because of the way what you love feels.

You feel connected, attracted, you include, you trust.

And this has to be why the greatest of Faith, Hope and Love is Love. Stick with me here…

Because if you are spending time energetically in your body and with the way your life feels in your body, then you are learning what you love, what love is, how love feels. When you have this imprint, you are now oriented. Energetically speaking, what you love guides your every action.

Is the love that orients you God’s love? Is it also safe for others? Is it also warm to others? Can others abide in it and thrive in the same love that orients you? Does everybody have a seat at your table of love? If so, your love is God’s love pouring out.

And when you’re acting and interacting from God’s love, you can have hope. Hope that the plans you commit to are not just the plans of your mind, but plans designed through co-creation with Siva (form) and Shakti (the formation) – Spirit energy – Truth of all Truth Energy. The success of your plans *big or small* can have hope like an anchor as they are inherently committed to divine will because they come from love. (Proverbs 16:3)

And we know “hope does not disappoint” because because BECAUSE “the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5) FULL CIRCLE!

The Holy Spirit is the God in you. You are divine. Ong namo guru dev namo. (I honor the divine wisdom that exists, that exists in me)

Living true to your divine design, you act and interact from the place of love NOT just what comes out of you but what you give generously to yourself because you cannot believe that you are divine and truly embrace the Holy Spirit dwelling in you *without* recognition that your body is a temple. (1 Corinthians 16:19-20) Aaaaaand, how do we recognize our body as a temple?

We care for it. We spend time in it. We pay attention to what comes in through our eyes, our ears, as much as we pay attention to what comes in through our mouth, the air we breathe in, what we touch.

We notice what we love. What our bodies tell us to take in that make them feel safe. Supported.

And *that* is what gives us faith that moves mountains. Because the awareness and the freedom you start to feel through the practice of your yes and your no, your activation of Spirit and all of the fruits that come with it will shift your perceptions and calm your mind chatter (“citta” in yoga).

And the knee jerk reactions to fear become so easily recognizable because you know there is nothing to fear. Not even death. Because the power of Christ – the Holy Spirit – the divine co-creative ability will be so alive and so active and so powerful that to feel fear will only ground you in faith.

<deep breath in>

✌🏽