Online Diary of Erin Elise Ford
Empower and motivate us to show up –
for our spirituality, with our gifts and for our community.
Creatively – practically – financially – help us show up..
for the world – for justice – in small ways (looking another straight in the eye) to big, bold statements – politically – motivate us to show up –
in new relationships and in our existing ones, in our existing ways – help us show up.
AUGUST 3, 2019BY ERIN
Context:
Allow me to build on my sentiment,
“I legit expect my kids to follow me following the goose”…
In my earliest year as a mother (age: 23), I remember turning my infant’s life over to the greater connected protection of the universe, The Big Love.
I sat, uneasy in the rocking chair, playing back the previous night’s episode of Law and Order, special victims unit in a post 9/11, post Columbine afternoon.
The curtains hung in the dusk-dusted nursery where a summer nap was being kept at bay. I was restless, contemplating these evils in humanity.
I did not want to “mother afraid”.
I did not want to “worry all the time”.
I did not want the pressure of “best” or the perceived stain of “worst”.
I did not want the responsibility of her story or her decisions. I did not want her carrying the weight of my own, personal regret.
In between that afternoon, where I “turned her over” to good, and the first time I watched her crawl away from me in accordance with her own curiosity, my motherhood journey became a continual invitation to Ellen (and eventually her sister, Lucy) to follow me.
Rhianna enforced afternoons in the Jeep, combing back the long way towards home from the zoo. Pizza adorned fingernails washed up in the historic tub of an ABQ lavender farm, watching sharks in Denver… trying Turkish delight in Park City…
I took on my life; them incorporated.
Our stories are plentiful, meaningful and thick. The meaning of being their leader, their goose, is never lost on me. In and out of the car, into museums and onto the plane: they have followed me.
Unlike the goose (though their personal notice is at least consistent in advertising inconsistency and temperament), I offer, give and set expectations to and of my daughters. Always gauging the fine, traumatic line of projecting one’s own experience; taking care to avoid infusing too much of the state of the world into the future.
Indeed. This is the paradox of being more than a “goose goose” or a Mother Goose; pecking rhyme-based rhythm and order.
Aha! See, I am *the goose*, living both into her future and ushering her goslings on in their own.
Ok! Got my first invitation to donate yesterday – and, though I need to dig into debates that occurred when I was traveling, I am leaning towards this E. Warren chick thanks to her mighty mouth and strong resolve.
I mean. Girl can go off and I love it.
In considering the candidates and the upcoming election season, I suppose the best place to start is what is important to me.
So – as of today – here are two things.
We have to make the internet safer. I believe that the underlying messages on the web and in the media tie to root causes of all sorts of epidemics. I do not want to fear “what next” I want to us to cause “what’s next” and bring some peace of mind to American homes.
Thoughts, Elizabeth?
Frozen Spaghetti 