I am currently sitting at our kitchen table, with End Game on the Google Home, a pot pie from scratch in the oven and one glass of wine done. I have nowhere to be tonight, no classes until 5:30p tomorrow night making Thursday nights (like Tuesday nights) sacred.
My body has gotten tired for the first time since I have been teaching 7+ classes a week. Like – so tired. I am not sure if it is related to COVID comeback (was sick on Thanksgiving) or just a late night watching my oldest daughter’s performance on repeat, but it all just hurts.
I have learned in teaching that the way to keep teaching yoga fluid to life (avoiding it feeling “like work”) is to teach completely 100% from where you are authentically. It might mean a more meditative / slower practice. Which is fine.
I have been thinking so much about my schedule. Many pieces of paper exist in my journal and planner with sketches of my week: how many hours at studio A, how many hours at my new study at studio B, when I design class, when I will invite friends up to the new studio to experiment with my new line of business: therapeutic restorative yoga, a non class class, where you order what your body needs and I guide you into a deep, supported rest.
And then there are kids – dogs – bathrooms to clean and a husband to love and support. At some point? I study. I read scripture. I pray. I lay in a dark room, breathing, waiting for words – for what’s next – and that is work. I wake up and I take time to align my intuitive voice – a literal 10 minutes of “yes”, “no”, “yes”, “no”, “no”, “no” as I go through my life. Making sure I emerge from my bed activated and ready to live this one life I have to the fullest.
In a way, this simple night at home – <breaks to check pie> feels like old times. Like 2020 when I “retired from corporate life” and binged Netflix and learned new cooking techniques from Samin’s Fat Salt Acid Heat. It actually feels even more throw back than that – like this simplicity of being me in my life without the push of living. Yet, it is just a present as connecting with others, direct eye contact, making a plan and leading a retreat.
I read in scripture this past week that it is because we are loved that we have been designed to produce good works. (I can’t remember the book / chapter / verse) but I felt this shift of perspective. I think I would have thought about that as “I am loved so I am designed special” a year ago.
Which makes sense – when you make something, you love it, it is special because of the time you spend on it. <crosses fingers the pot pie is special>
But, I think that scripture is also pointing us to the fact that it is because we are all loved that we are designed to produce good works. Like you can produce good works because I am loved. I can produce good works because you are loved. Because that is a way divine love comes to this world: through our works. We are able to make and create good in the world because God loves the world. God loves the person you are going to see tomorrow. God loves the partner you’ll meet and do business with in ten years. God loves my future book agent. And God will love these people through us.
I think thinking of it like this should feel empowering. Take you less out of the storyline of your life and more into an awareness of all the storylines going on at any given point in time. There’s power in that. For sure.
Okay – the Hulk is about to get an infinity stone and I need to rotate the pie.
Goodnight!
Frozen Spaghetti 