hello, monday: a real life realization

The one dog (it is the blonde one, this time I am sure) gives off a “I thought I was really important to you” quip from the laundry room, where they have been put up for a morning chill. The laundry is running and it is officially 9:15 (an “anchor time” as I refer to it in my puppy training).

Blonde Dog quipping from the laundry room and now seemingly trying to rouse his sweet obedient sister into wrestling (I hear her obliging), has clearly forgotten how important he has been to me all morning: the long walk through old webster where I let them leisurely sniff all the way home, the gobs of peanut butter on the tip of his nose, the relaxed pets in the sun on his blanket.

It’s time for me to get a little bit serious about my creative day as all the morning chores are done and my last cup of coffee begs for my attention, next to the mouse.

I take a lot of pride in the puppy training I undertook when adopting these two littermates. The internet was such a scary place for me in those early weeks of learning about littermate syndrome, what you want from two dogs who have been raised from scratch together (without any adult dog to model for them, to boot). Thank you to local Watering Bowl and to my friends who tirelessly told me “if anybody can do it, it is you”; I have grown to live out what I thought was true originally:

That to trust yourself initially is to trust yourself all the same at the crux.

“To Trust Yourself Initially, is to Trust Yourself all the same at the Crux.”

Me, today.

In a way, it reminds me a lot of rock climbing, jumping into a pool or riding a rollercoaster: once you have stepped into the experience, you have to come out. Rock Climbing is a little bit different because you are at your own mercy. Which makes it less like the inevitable truth of going underwater when jumping into a pool or going upside down or whatever riding the whole of the rollercoaster means. Surely you knew what you were getting onto or into.

With training the dogs, I am at my own mercy. The things I think are important are what is important. The things I think are ok, are ok. And the things that I am not okay with (either on behalf of myself or others…) are what is not okay.

Matter of fact, the hardest part about training two puppies is not training them – but disseminating the commands, expectations and allowed behavior to the 5 kids. Letting them interpret and explore their own independent voice with the dogs is as important as bridging what the dogs have learned and like. But, anyway, maybe more on that later.

The kids are all off with grandparents for the final weeks of July. I have two weeks (starting…. now) to get some organization in the creative zone and layout some anchors to my digital life. I had quite a bit of traffic to the ole blog site yesterday but not a clear path how that worked, how you got there. But for those newly following or that liked either of my last two posts; thank you. I am writing today partly because of it.

Aaaaaaand partly because apparently discipline and consistency are keys to success. (And, coincidentally, to puppy training)

On that note, the scene here draws to an end and I need to shut the dog up who played with his sister, wore out and just wants to know that I am still in the house. This is my current training dilemna.

And just like that – the Google in the kitchen goes off and gives me an excuse to go in there, let them see me and shut up per expectation. :)

Like if you do, share if you like. :) erin

realistic expectations @ on a little ledge by my ferns – stl.

oh hey – long time, no talk. or – no write. what’s up?

to those i know in real life, in person: here we go. a life update of intricate sorts.

to those i read and who read me online: a deeper thought, a perspective.

since the last time i recall writing, the seasons have changed and two puppies have joined the mix. my oldest turns 16 on wednesday, the middle blended daughter turns 12 on tuesday – amazon delivered a couple of *i really want to tell you* today and the sun is shining. it has been a wet couple of days but, today? it’s glorious. sunny, cool in shade, warm in patches of daylight.

my heart has been leaping all morning at our dream and our vision. two adult dogs walking on taylor dock in bellingham, when we finally get to a milky chance concert, the next time we buy fresh flowers at pike’s, the sound of seattle… the coffee.. my mountain view.

my greenhouse. my rosebush. my rosemary. the deer. the neighborhood. the inspiring corner kitchen garden and the desire to be family friends with the people with banana trees and tire swings.

birch bay. foggy mornings. (did i say coffee) and the kayaks. enter back the dogs. the moss. the green. the ferns.

which brings me back to where i started (in my title) – by my ferns here in stl.

the ferns are getting there. (the puppies have not been especially helpful in this regard, but we are learning and i am praying my hostas’ safety and well being each day. MAN they like to rumble and wrestle in them leaves!) the greens of the green thanks to the rain are like fairy dust in this midwest spring. pnw vibes all the way and it’s like being plugged into a little electric socket.

on the homefront: it is a switch day which means i wind down my me time and personal growth and match it up to the needs of the collective, the behavior i want to see more of from my daughters and the way the house needs to run for my sanity and everybody’s health and comforts to be somewhat met.

regarding the publishing project: it has hatched and is a duckling sitting in a sweet little egg. designers are working on statement of work. village books and i are in a pending contract. and my list of people to send invitations to this summer is coming up daily along with the right hue of yarrow golden yellow for the stationary. sigh. my creative baby infant child. my first published work. an apple off my apple tree. <pulse>

oh, how much more i could write right now.

ideas for the future. on my love for my children.

my gratitude. my husband.

// a song we wrote. //

what i have learned in the past two days, what i really truly feel deeply now and my active intentions for the next twenty four hours…

for the next week.

the house.

The summer.

It all.

But, realistically? It is all so actively underway that it simply can only be expected that we all just live it out and report in on the big stuff.

Love live and in living color.

Ok. Peppers. Gear change. Till next time…. erin

about raising kids. @ study. listening to britney.

Yes, Baby One More Time is on my airpods right now. But right before it was Hard Way Home by Brandi Carlile.

I just had the most fantastic daydream (David calls them “thought experiments”) imagining Ellen leading a musical interpretation of a favorite song in a manner which involved key musical family members and influencers. It’s always when I imagine her paternal grandpa (Richard Dempsey) and the spirit of her maternal grandpa (Terry K. Dittmer) that I get choked up. Even more so when I imagine my brother and my husband completely threading together some absolutely magical acoustic guitar – even more when I imagine the voices: mine, Lucy’s, my nieces, my friends, my mom, my sisters, my neighborhood. Put a bonfire right in the middle and some Christmas lights on top? That literally is my daydream come true.

Which brings me to realize this seemingly emerging truth about parenting: that you raise your kids in a fashion that embodies your dreams and the qualities that bring it to life. This makes the daydream as good as the real thing, the real things as fanciful as the daydream.

It also seems to give incredible opportunity to considering what you put in place for their optimal living.

For most American parents, the notion that you can shift from the American Dream to your individual one is enough to cause some sort of social re-thrival.

Ok – vanille fraise just came on *which if you know, you know.

The voice is continuing to break open here on the blog. So much gratitude to Delene for her encouragement. All my friends. The ones I FaceTimed with. So good. Miss my coworkers. Praying for their brains. For their leadership and for their communications.

I’m opting to stay put on this Director gig in Webster. I need to be something else first. But I fully intend on knowing who gets the gig. :)