Here is the scene:
The daughter sits in the backseat while her mom’s eyes drift out of the window. (think 7 – needs a haircut – a wonderer of her own)Something changes in the daughter’s mind and she comes to the reality she is sharing with her mother and asks, “What are you thinking?” or some other form of “what? mom?” that child like inquiring minds ask..
The mom is sad – she is human, failing in some part of her life, maybe hurt physically – and she is just out of it. She is thinking about a man while listening to Adele – she is thinking about her mom while listening to Adele – she is listening to Adele period and feeling like every single woman understands her because (no matter in what aspect it lies) the plot is so bizarre and ironic and at the same time perfect and pointless. It’s this blog post, basically.
But the point is – matters are complex. The mind is an amazing thing – capable of so much – containing so little – and it’s one of those things that can bring doubt to the strongest feeling in your heart. The one feeling that made you marry him. And the same feeling that made you identify with yourself more. The feeling that draws you out – the pursuit of the better – the contentment to stay during the hardest times (and for real: times get hard). So how much do you love yourself and how much do you love your partner? How much do you love to trust the better factor than the worrisome one? The sadness with change replaced with peace with each day.
How much do you love your family to let them go – grow – or otherwise stay the same? NEVER changing from their worsts habits but yet always wishing their wildest dreams come true the whole while. So the daughter asks her mom again, “mom, what are you thinking about?”
And this is my answer – this is what I just tied together on the kitchen floor, wiping away two parties’ footprints and sand, a dried cranberry and soap drops. Name your thought. To say “nothing” in that moment because it all is so hard – gone – and important. It’s big – wordy – and deep. That thing you are about to sum up to “nothing” because you want to protect her? It’s life – and it needs a name. To tell her daughter words instead of “nothing” – “this stoplight” - ”those cows over there…” she begins the quest for truth in all the matters by applying meaning and – through dialogue – discovering a theme that can help her put her internal pieces and parts in an order.
All plus the added benefit of preventing the daughter from figuring that “nothing” is worried about, hard, or gone.
To lose nothing, to grieve nothing, is no longer a thought. And the peace of the non-process of impermanence sets in deeper. #namaste