I am posting a snippet of an email response I wrote to somebody this morning who reached out because they were distressed. It fits with a couple of other conversations I have had lately and I think it’s highly likely therefore that others may need some encouragement as well.. The context here is the person is aware of something big that needs to change one way or another.
“…In that I also totally see where you’re coming from. I think that the challenge you have is to trust the one next step whole heartedly… Even if you can predict what responses you’ll get from various parties. The tricky thing about identifying the step to change your life is that when it’s really really right and necessary and when we are really unhappy, the one step seems radical. And in that, there are typically at least 3 to a half dozen factors that immediately come to play and they are all overwhelming. (I almost didn’t get divorced because my neighbors would be sad! What?! Since when is that reason to stay in a marriage.) So my point is that you have to trust that one step enough to be willing to see what those responses actually are. You may be surprised with where there is not resistance that you thought there might be. You might be completely spot on about where there is painful change. But you have to be willing to feel that loss. And trust that in good time, committing to the change you know in your heart is good for you, will all work out. That you can’t be wrong unless you are trying to be right. Sometimes we think of these things so much that we think we know the way it is going to work – we “are right” about all these things and because of that conviction we have in our abilities to predict the future, we stay stuck. And I don’t think staying stuck is what you are looking for right now. I think you’re looking for freedom and love and all that good flowing Jesus stuff that happens when you commit to who God made you and the love you believe is possible for yourself and for the world. I was reminded today in a text that it is not us that love, it is God that loves through us – but we have to have open hearts and minds in order for that to happen.”